Fear and Loathing in Wisconsin
by elphabachan
Summary: What if Jackie had decided enough was enough after the slumberparty with Donna and Sam and recruited Brooke to go to Vegas? And what if turnabout is fairplay when they run afoul a charming lounge singer named Jude? BK angst, JH eventually.
1. To Hell With The American Dream

A/N: Hey everyone! It's been a long while since I've been posting on this site, and there are two reasons for that. Summer was very busy during the last half of it, so I had little time to sit and write. Also, had I had the time, I would have been under the attack of a huge writer's block which just recently got lifted. So here is my newest story! I hope that it was worth the wait, for those of you who've been waiting for a new one from me. Just some logistics, it takes place in season Hate, before Kelso left for Chicago. Got it? Good! On we go!

Disclaimer: I don't own THAT 70S SHOW nor FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS.

**Fear and Loathing in Wisconsin**

Jackie was sitting in the basement, enjoying the quiet solitude that had greeted her when she arrived there that morning. After all, everything had been so horrible in the past couple of weeks that she needed the time alone. No one knew it, but to her the world was falling. It was crashing down all around her, and all she could do was pretend that it didn't affect her. But the truth was that it did. In fact, while she maintained the exterior of cool and calm, the insides were screaming bloody murder. It was getting hard to ignore the screams in her head, and a couple of times she had come really close to letting them out. But then she just swallowed it all back down.

It may have been true that sometimes you just had to accept things as they came. Jackie should have been given an award for doing that. Because not many people would sit idly by as everyone around them slowly turned on them. At least, that was how it felt. Sure, life isn't that black and white, and it was preposterous to believe that they had been consciously conspiring to make her feel so horrible. But maybe that wouldn't have hurt as much. It was the fact that no one could understand how much they had been hurting her, the girl who had been in the basement with her 'friends' since she was fifteen, that made her cry herself to sleep.

Everyone has an American Dream. Jackie's was to get married to the man she loved more than herself. And that dream was stolen by a bottle blonde in a dirty tube top.

As she turned the pages of the darkest book she could find (she'd asked the person at the bookstore 'What would a person who was really man at the world read to pass the time and make her forget?'. He'd recommended 'Hells Angels'), she immersed herself in the other world where things were worse than here. Too bad it wasn't alleviating the pain, it just made her cry more.

Donna walked into the basement, putting her purse on the chair.

"Hey," Donna said. Jackie looked up, and set her book down.

"Hey," Jackie said, sulkier than she'd meant but unable to pretend anymore. After all, she'd had to pretend the whole night before at that HORRIBLE slumber party that Donna threw. The one where SAM showed up. The one where SAM said hateful things to Jackie, and Donna just let it happen. In fact, she'd said some pretty mean things too.

"How are you?" Donna asked, though it was obvious she was irritated with Jackie's behavior, which she found histrionic and childish.

"Fine," Jackie said, hugging herself.

"Just 'fine'?" Donna asked. Jackie pursed her lip, and shrugged.

"You're right, Donna. I'm BETTER than fine! I'm so GREAT right now I could just EXPLODE with puppies and kittens and rainbows!" Jackie said, fake smile and happy eyes, getting irritated as well. How could Donna be so blind? How could she act like Jackie was in the wrong? Why hadn't she sat her down and asked what was wrong? They were best friends!

"What is your problem?" Donna demanded. "You've been so bitchy lately! Last night you sulked throughout the entire slumber party!!" Jackie looked up at Donna, the hurt overtaking her.

"Are you serious?" Jackie asked, softly.

"Am I serious about what?" Donna threw back. Jackie put her book in her purse, and had finally had enough.

"Let me get this straight," Jackie said. "You and me, we're friends. We've been through SO MUCH together. And now, when I am obviously in the most pain I have ever been in, the most in my entire LIFE, you pretty much tell me to 'suck it up' and 'get over it'. What the hell kind of person does that to a friend?"

"Jackie, if you are in pain you sure have a funny way of showing it," Donna snapped. "You've just been whining and sulking and glaring and being downright unbearable. It's not much different than normal, actually."

"Oh, that's REAL nice, Donna," Jackie spat

"Look, I'm sorry if the slumber party was difficult for you, but Sam is in our lives now, and you two need to get along." Jackie scoffed, and began to laugh a little maniacally.

"I don't need to do anything for her," Jackie said. "And the fact that you are asking, no, pretty much DEMANDING that I do, shows just how CLUELESS you are! But then, you HAVE been peroxiding you hair all the time, so I'll just blame it on the chemicals that have more than likely seeped into your brain!" With that, Jackie grabbed her purse, threw it over her shoulder, and stormed out of the basement. She slammed the door as hard as she could behind her, and then burst into quiet sobs as she walked to her car.

And of course at that moment, Hyde and Sam pulled up in the El Camino. Jackie fumbled with the keys, in a sheer panic that they would see her crying. And of course, they did.

"Jackie! Good slumber party last night!" Sam called, somewhat cruelly, while Hyde was silent. Jackie ignored her, and yanked on her sticking car door.

"Jackie," Hyde said, not to be cruel, but there was no other way for Jackie to take it at this point, "you have to unlock the door before you open it."

"I know!" she snapped, finally getting it unlocked. She got in her car, and revved the engine angrily. She watched Sam smirk, shoot a glance her way, and grab Hyde on the ass. Jackie hated the thought of Sam putting her hands on him, and him putting her hands on her, so she sped off towards her house before she had to see him reciprocate.

"She's such a head case," Sam said.

"…. I guess," Hyde said.

She cried as she drove, and wiped her eyes as best she could. She turned on the radio, trying to find something cheerful.

"Bright light city gonna set my soul, gonna set my soul on fire," Elvis sang, and she cried harder. "Got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn, so get those stakes up higher. There's a thousand pretty women waitin' out there, and they're all livin' devil may care and I'm just the devil with love to spare! Viva Las Vegas, viva Las Vegas!"

Jackie wiped her eyes at a stop light, and sighed.

"Shut UP Elvis!" she sniffed, and turned the station.

"For a limited time only, we're selling vacation packages to Las Vegas, Nevada!" the cheesy and grating voice announced, and she growled, about to turn the station again. "Cheap flights for two to the City of Sin, home of glitz, luck, and opportunity! What are YOU waiting for?" She then began thinking. Vegas WAS the place people went when they had a rough time. And it couldn't be coincidence that this city was stalking her over the airwaves of her 1976 Camaro. It was fate, and Jackie Burkhart believed that fate was now about to start dealing her a good hand, no puns intended what with the context. Besides, a trip for two for a good price was something she almost couldn't pass up. She bit her fingernail in thought, and hiccupped a little bit. When the light turned green, and sped towards her house faster than normal. She parked her car in the driveway, and ran into the house for the telephone. She opened the purse, pulled out her address book, and looked up an old acquaintance. She dialed the number, and wrapped her fingers in the cord nervously.

"Hello?"

"Brooke."

"Jackie? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me. What are you doing this weekend?"

"Ummm…. I guess I'm just gonna be home with Betsy. Why?"

"Wanna go to Vegas?"

"…. I'm sorry, did you just ask me to go to Vegas?"

"Yes."

"LAS Vegas?"

"Yes."

"…. Jackie, what's going on?"

"I just want to go to Vegas, Brooke, and I don't want to go alone," she said, getting emotional again.

"…. Jackie, I heard about what happened between you and Steven, but I don't think that going to Vegas is a good idea."

"Look, I'm going to Vegas regardless, and even if I don't want to go alone, I WILL because I'm about to lose it here! I have NO friends and NO future!"

"Calm down, Jackie," Brooke said, soothingly. "What about Donna?"

"Donna is SAM'S friend now."

"I doubt that it's that cut and dry."

"Well she is friends with her and sticks up for her over me," Jackie moaned. "And Steven, well…. You know how that is. I just had a big blow up with Donna and Sam mocked me and I WANT TO GO TO VEGAS!"

"…. Let me call my Mom and see if she will take Betsy," Brooke said. "If she will, I'll go to Vegas with you."

"Omigod, really??"

"Yes, really."

"Thank you, Brooke!"

"Yeah yeah yeah, I'm a pushover, I know. How are we going to do this?" Brooke queried. "I mean… I'm in Chicago and you're in Point Place."

"You leave as soon as possible and then we hop on a plane from Milwaukee," Jackie stated.

"You've really planned this, haven't you?"

"Actually it's really spur of the moment."

"Okay. I'll call my Mom, then work, then I'll hit the road. I'll be in Milwaukee in about two hours."

"Great! We'll meet at the sky cap area at the main terminal. Thank you, Brooke!"

"Yeah yeah yeah." They hung up, and Jackie ran upstairs to her room to pack.

* * *

Brooke and Jackie got off the plane in Los Angeles and looked around the airport. The 'wonderful' travel package neglected to mention the layover in Chicago (which would have been completely redundant for Brooke), and Phoenix, but they got an even better deal on an LA travel package and decided to drive from there. They just had to now rent a car and drive through the desert to the City of Sin.

"God. How did I let you talk me into this?" Brooke asked.

"Here's something ELSE I'm going to talk you into," Jackie said, putting her sunglasses on her head. "Let's go rent a convertible!!"

"Jackie, we can't afford a convertible!" Brooke exclaimed. "I mean, come on!"

"Sure we can!" Jackie said. "We saved that much more money by coming here first! And I may have been fired from my job in Chicago, but I DID cash my advancement check!"

"How much were they going to pay you?" Brooke asked, as they walked arm in arm through the airport.

"Probably too much, but the advancement was ridiculous," Jackie stated. "Ooh! The sign says that way to the baggage claim!"

"Okay, we can get a convertible, but it has to be the cheapest one they have that isn't falling apart. No, I take that back. If it's falling apart I don't care, so long as it's safeish."

They got their bags, and got their car, and were now on the road to Las Vegas, Nevada. They had the top down, and were blasting Dusty Springfield's 'Windmills of Your Mind' from it, as much as one could 'blast' Dusty Springfield.

"Okay, so I've decided that this was a good idea," Brooke said, leaning back in the sun. "I feel the tension in my body just falling away as we get further and further into the desert."

"We should get to Vegas by evening, and then we can hit the casinos and night spots and shows all night long," Jackie listed. "Tomorrow we can sleep and sit by the hotel pool, followed by more partying, and then we go home on Sunday."

"I like this plan," Brooke said. "Does anyone back home know where you went?"

"Nope!" Jackie said, smiling widely. "You?"

"Well, I told my Mom that I was going on a spa getaway because of the stresses of single motherhood," Brooke stated. "I hated lying to her but if I'd told her where I was actually going she wouldn't have taken Betsy."

"How is Betsy?"

"Wonderful! But I need a BREAK!" Brooke moaned, and stretched. "Motherhood is something that I wouldn't trade for the world, but I never dreamed that I'd be one at the age of 23."

"Do you believe in the American Dream?" Jackie asked, pensively.

"I don't know anymore," Brooke said. "My dream was to go to grad school in library sciences-."

"There's such a thing?"

"Yeah, actually. But now I can't really do that because of Betsy, and while Betsy is better than any stinky old library job, I don't know what my dream is now. Probably just to raise Betsy well, as it's all for her, you know?"

"Is the American Dream changeable?" Jackie asked. "Because my dream, well... It's gone." Brooke sighed, and shrugged.

"You know, speaking of the American Dream, Hunter S Thompson said that this desert has bats and manta rays in it," Brooke said in an attempt to change the subject, and giggled at her literary joke. "I don't expect you to get that, but-."

" 'Our trip was a grass physical salute to the fantastic possibilities of life in this country, but only for those with true grit. And we were chock full of that'," Jackie quoted.

"Wow," Brooke said. "I stand corrected."

"I read 'Fear and Loathing' in an effort to show Steven I was hip," Jackie stated. "And I think that this trip should live by that line, you know? Even if Hunter didn't find his dream, maybe we could redo ours. Even if it's just for one weekend."

"You surprise me," Brooke said, smiling a little bit. "But I agree. And way to be well read!"

"Why thank you, Madame Librarian!" Jackie laughed. "Brooke, we are going to have a HOT weekend!"

"Yes we are!" Brooke agreed. "Look look look! Only forty more miles!"

"EEEE!" they both exclaimed as the car flew down the highway towards a future that they didn't have to worry about. No children to fret over, no strippers to die over, just two tentative friends and a city that glimmered as an oasis in an otherwise inhospitable wasteland. Jackie and Brooke were pursuing some twisted form of their lost dreams, if only for a couple days. Even if they had to return to the real world when the clock of actuality struck midnight, and their cherry red car turned back into a pumpkin, for one fleeting moment in comparison to all other moments Jackie and Brooke could say that they went out and they lived. Hunter S. Thompson would have been proud.

* * *

A/N 2: Lots of set up, I guess. Just as a note, the chapter titles are phrases derived from the wonderful book FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS by Hunter S, Thompson (rest in peace, sir). 


	2. Reality Itself Is Too Twisted

A/N: I wish to thank all my reviewers, I was happy to see that people are responding to this in a generally positive manner. I think someone mentioned being excited for the meeting of Jackie and Jude, the singer, and that happens in this chapter! Hooray! It's still building a little slowly, I think this story is going to be long… But that's okay.

Disclaimer: I don't own THAT 70S SHOW or anything else that is obviously not mine. Though Jude is mine.

* * *

They got to their hotel on the strip at 7:00 that evening, and both sprang for adjoining rooms, just in case one of them met someone. After all, it was Vegas. They took their bags to their rooms, and opened the door between them.

"Okay, what should I wear?" Brooke asked, throwing clothes everywhere on her bed. "I'm not the type to go out partying, so you'll have to help me."

"Hmmm," Jackie said. "I don't party either. I have no idea… Anything that makes us look sexy but classy should be fine. It will make us stand out from a lot of the other women here. So that way I figure they are more likely to hit on us."

"But what if they want trashy women?"

"Those who seek out trashy women aren't worth our time," Jackie said, matter of factly. "Oh, and we should also heckle strippers."

"Ooh, I like that idea!" Brooke said. "I don't like strippers, and I know how YOU feel about them."

"No kidding!" Jackie exclaimed, and sorted through her clothes too.

* * *

As Jackie and Brooke got ready, down in the lounge of their hotel, Jude Duke was taking a cigarette break between sets. The last group had been okay, but they were the older crowd. That wasn't his scene. He knew that the 8:30 shows were always better than the 6:00 ones. He drank his vodka, and sighed.

"Hey Lance, another vodka here," he said, his accented voice filled with eagerness.

"You drink like a washed up lounge singer, not a rising music star," the bartender said, and Jude chuckled.

"Hey, if I spend too much time left singing here that's what I'm gonna end up as," Jude said, and Lance gave him another vodka. He took a long drag, and then did the shot. "Maaan…. That one was strong."

"Are you relaxed enough yet? Or are you going to do the next set drunk?"

"Oh buzz off," Jude said, and Lance chuckled.

Brooke and Jackie gave each other a once over to make sure that they looked okay, and strolled into the bar. They sat a few seats down from Jude, and chatted.

"So after we get a drink, we go to dinner, and THEN we go to Caesar's Palace and gamble, then we go see a show or something," Brooke said. "Basically we should just explore the strip."

"Okay!" Jackie agreed. Jude eyed the girls, and smiled to himself. They weren't much younger than he was, and they were both quite attractive. Especially the short one. "Hey bartender! I'll have a pina colada!"

"Ooh, make that two," Brooke stated.

"Those are on me, ladies," Jude said, and they turned to him. Jackie and Brooke smiled, and he raised his empty glass to them in a toast.

"Thanks," Brooke said, and Jackie nodded. Jude winked, and Lance rolled his eyes and began the Pina Coladas.

"He has an accent!" Jackie squealed under her breath. "What is it? Brit? Aussie?"

"I think it's New Zealand, but it sounds weird to me," Brooke said.

"Well let's ask him."

"No, we can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"It's weird to just ask as if that's his only identity! Strike up a conversation first," Brooke said,

"So where are you ladies from?" Jude asked, amused at how they were clearly talking about him and yet trying to be discreet.

"We're from Wisconsin," Jackie said.

"But I live in Chicago," Brooke said.

"First time in Vegas?" he asked.

"Yep," Jackie said.

"What brings you here?"

"Spite on her part," Brooke answered.

"Hey!" Jackie exclaimed, and swatted her a little bit.

"That wouldn't be the first time I'd heard that as a reason," Jude said. "No judgments here."

"Well thanks," Jackie said, and smiled smugly at Brooke, who just laughed a little bit.

"I'm Jude," he said, extending a hand. Jackie shook it, and then Brooke did as well.

"I'm Jackie."

"Brooke."

"Nice to meet you two Midwestern ladies," Jude said. "Any big plans for your stay?"

"Well, tonight we're going gambling," Brooke said. "And then tomorrow we're just bumming around the pool, and then tomorrow night, well…"

"We don't know what we're doing tomorrow night," Jackie said.

"Well, I do a show here every night at 8:30," Jude said. "You could always come here." Lance served the girls their drinks, and Jackie and Jude were sharing smoldering looks.

"Maybe we will," Jackie said, and Brooke smirked a little bit.

"Well girls, it's been a pleasure, but I have to go get some things done before the next set," he said. "Have a good time tonight."

"Thanks for the drinks," Brooke said.

"Any time. Later." He left, and Jackie sighed.

"Well that was easy on the eyes," she said, sipping on her straw.

"No kidding," Brooke said.

"And ears."

"Mm hmm."

* * *

Back in Point Place, Donna was seething on the couch. Hyde walked down the steps with a beer, and sat next to her.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Nothing," Donna said, but her voice deceived her.

"Come on, you've been crabby all day today," Hyde said. "What's going on, seriously?"

"Jackie blew up at me because I'm trying to be nice to Sam." Hyde opened his beer, and shrugged.

"Well, you expected her to be cool with it?"

"I don't know," Donna said. "I mean, she has every right to be angry, but I don't think she should be cruel…"

"Where is Jackie, anyway?"

"Well, she's mad, so I'm not surprised that she's not in the basement," Donna said. "Although by this time she's usually told me how mad she is…. Maybe I should call her."

"Nah, let her stew, it's what she does best," Hyde said.

"I mean, is it too much to expect people to be mature and stuff?" Donna asked. "Is it so bad that I hold people in a regard that they don't revert back to middle school tendencies?"

"Yeah, kind of," Hyde said. "You always have these high expectations of people and when they don't meet your criteria you get all bent out of shape. Why do you think that people need to live up to YOUR standards?"

"I'm sorry, you do realize that we're talking about YOUR ex here, right?" Donna asked. "I thought of all people you'd agree with me the most."

"I'm not saying that Jackie isn't a brat, we both know she is, but because you know this I just don't know why you expected any less of her," Hyde said, sipping his beer. "Why do you think I dumped her? She won't change, so I said goodbye."

"Oh yeah Hyde, you were the pinnacle of flexibility in THAT relationship," Donna snapped. "You're both so damn stubborn it's no wonder you guys fucked it up."

"I didn't fuck anything up-!"

"Baloney," Donna spat, her perpetual grumpy mood now coming back to bite Hyde in the ass.

"You don't have to be a bitch to me because you're mad at Jackie, you know," he huffed, setting his beer down. "You want someone to bitch at, why not talk to my wife? She seems to think you two are the best of friends now."

"Well she's more tolerable than-."

"You don't mean that so don't say it," Hyde said, quietly. Donna looked over at Hyde, now very curious.

"You're quick to defend Jackie, Hyde," Donna observed. "What's that about?"

"Nothing," he answered quickly. Though the actual answer was that 'she was crying'. They left it at that, and sat in uncomfortable silence until something came on TV they both could enjoy.

* * *

After a night of gambling (in which they both came out ahead by about two hundred bucks), Brooke and Jackie were just lounging by the pool that afternoon.

"I think we should quit while we're ahead," Brooke said, splashing her feet in the water. "Just go for a nice dinner tonight, then see a show… Maybe Jude's show?"

"Jude?"

"That guy who bought us drinks last night."

"Oh yeah, the sexy Possible New Zealander. Uh oh, did you think he was cute?"

"Well I did, but I think he was more interested in YOU," Brooke said, and Jackie sat up from the lounge chair.

"Oh yes?" Jackie asked. "Well…. As much as I find this city somewhat deplorable, I can understand the appeal of the anonymity. I sort of get why Steven came here."

"Wow, that's a big step."

"Notice I never said I forgave him," Jackie said. "He's still on my crap list."

"I don't blame you," Brooke said, and Jackie sat next to her, feet in the water as well. "So did heckling those strippers last night help your anger towards Sam and him?"

"It did a little," Jackie said. "Had we not been kicked out of the club I think it could have been even more therapeutic." Brooke shrugged, and slipped into the pool.

"Do you think you'll ever forgive Steven?" Brooke asked, standing on her tip toes to touch the floor.

"I don't know," Jackie said. "Maybe someday. But he really REALLY hurt me."

"I understand," Brooke stated. "Well then you should move on."

"I agree…. I'm thinking of moving on to Fez." Brooke couldn't hide the grimace. "What?"

"Jackie, are you feeling okay?" Brooke asked, and Jackie rolled her eyes. "Because you're speaking like you have some kind of BRAIN FEVER."

"Well it's nothing really THAT serious in my head, but he's really nice to me, and he completely worships me! That's something I look for in a guy you know."

"Jackie, no."

"What? What do you mean, 'no'?"

"I mean no!" Brooke exclaimed. "You should totally move on, but not to FEZ!"

"I thought you liked Fez!"

"I do like Fez, but I'd never date him!"

"Well that's you then, because I'm thinking about it," Jackie sniffed, adjusting her sunglasses.

"Jackie, Fez is a nice guy, I'll give you that, but he's CREEPY."

"Creepy? How so?"

"He's a creep. A Creepazoid. Like 'I have a dungeon in my basement' creepy."

"That's an awful thing to say!"

"He's obsessed with peeping, candy, and our ex."

"He isn't obsessed with Michael… At least, not THAT much-."

"All I'm saying is that you don't actually want to date HIM, you want to date SOMEONE," Brooke said.

"Donna would encourage me to go after him!"

"And what favors has Donna done for you lately? I mean besides inviting Sam over to your slumber party?"

"… Okay, that's a good point. But I like Fez! I want to date Fez and there's nothing you can say that can change my mind!"

"… There is something I can say, but don't make me say it."

"There's nothing. Noth. Ing. You can say anything, I won't flinch."

"I'm gonna say it."

"Go ahead."

"You'll live to regret this."

"Bring it on! You think you're so clever with your book job and-."

"Fez's throbbing erect penis."

Jackie SCREAMED, and covered her ears in horror, closing her eyes as if to erase the image from her mind and never see it again. A few pool goers looked at her, wondering what had put this girl in such a tizzy. Brooke just tread water, having given up on standing in the deep end, and waited for the shrieks to subside. Once they had, she arched her eyebrows at her friend.

"I told you," Brooke said.

"That was a dirty trick."

"But you get my point."

"…. Yes…. I get your point," Jackie said, and sighed a little bit. "That's gross, Brooke."

"I warned you, Jackie, you brought it on yourself," Brooke said. "Come on, let's swim."

"I do like swimming," Jackie stated, and jumped into the pool next to her. "So for our last night in Vegas I say we get completely trashed."

"Ugh, I don't want to drive from here to LA with a hangover," Brooke said. "But I do want to party hard. I never get to do that." Jackie nodded.

"We can celebrate being single independent women, and bitch about how men have done us wrong."

"I like doing that," Brooke said. "Tonight is a night we'll never forget."

"I agree!" Jackie said. "But I don't think I'll ever get that AWFUL image out of my mind. You know the REAL me, Brooke. I was an idiot to think about me and Fez working out, and anyone who says that we would doesn't know me at ALL."

* * *

Jude was standing on the balcony of his room, smoking a cigarette and looking up at the bright sun. God I hate it here, he thought, and blew out the smoke. He walked back into his room, and sat in the uncomfortable chair that he thought he'd have come to like by now. He didn't. That was one of the many low points of living at the hotel you performed at: you had to deal with the interior decorating with a smile on your face. Apparently the owners found him to be a hot enough commodity that they'd spring for his living arrangements, but that was as far as they went with hospitality. He walked to the small fridge that was next to the small stove in the small kitchenette, and considered opening the beer that was housed inside of it. But he decided against it, as even he had his scruples when it came to drinking away the pain.

There was a knocking on the door. He put out his cigarette, and opened it, to see the cause of his pain.

"Roseanna," he said, and she walked in.

"You have my blender."

"Nice to see you too," he said, closing the door.

"I can't stay long, I just came for my blender."

"If I remember it correctly, you gave that blender to me as a gift to 'spruce up the shitty kitchen'," he said, testily.

"It was just so I could blend margaritas when I was over here," Roseanna said, examining her nails and tossing her curly black hair. "It was a nice blender, I'm sorry I forgot it, could I please have it back?"

"… Why don't you just get Clive to buy you a new one?" he asked.

"Come on, Jude, don't make this any harder than it already is."

"It doesn't seem hard for you!" he snapped, and she sighed, and crossed her arms. "Fine, take the blender, I don't use it anyway."

"…. Jude, listen to me-."

"I don't have to listen to you," he muttered.

"You're hung-over aren't you?"

"That's not your business anymore, is it?" he threw back, sitting in the awful awful chair. "You can't knock me to the side and then give me a lecture about my drinking habits."

"Jude, I didn't knock you to the side!"

"Well what would you call it then? Educate me!"

"I couldn't go on with you! You're going no where, Jude!" she snarled, grabbing her blender. "Why should I stick around with someone who is stuck in neutral?"

"Because we care about each other maybe?"

"…. I have to go, Jude."

"I'm sure that CLIVE isn't stuck in neutral, it's hard to be stuck there when you have your Dad's bank account at your disposal," he said, and she walked past him towards the door. "Look, can you just wait a moment? I want to talk-."

"There's nothing to talk about! I'm done, Jude, I'm done," Roseanna said, and opened the door. Before she walked out of it, she turned. "Perhaps you should try to see the common factor in why your relationships don't work out."

"And what is that?" he asked, defeated.

"It's you," she sniffed, and left, with the blender. Jude sat in the chair for a moment, and then decided that he was going to have that beer after all. As he opened the fridge, he thought about that 'common factor' concept for a brief moment. Instead of dwelling on it, he grabbed his beer, and turned on his record player, which at the moment housed 'Let It Be'. He set the needle to the track from which the album got it's name, and listened to his favorite band, trying to find his way to a different reality.

"Get me the fuck out of here," he muttered into the bottle. He strolled back to the balcony, and looked down at the pool below. How he longed to be like the tourists, where Las Vegas was but an escape and a fantasy. Their fantasy was his nightmare, and he felt so incredibly stuck. On some level, Roseanna was right. He was stuck. Las Vegas can do that to people. He sank to the floor of the balcony, and watched the people through the iron bars, his free hand holding one as if he were in a cage. Somebody let me out. He closed his eyes, and rested his head against the cold metal.


	3. Pre Dawn Chaos

A/N: Hello everyone! First and foremost, happy weekend! Secondly, thanks to those of you who reviewed. I've been writing and rewriting and adding and replacing things like crazy. Just to be clear, the Jude character is not an intentional rip off of that movie ACROSS THE UNIVERSE, as I wrote this awhile back before I'd even heard of the movie. He just likes the Beatles and is named Jude! My boyfriend said that I was ripping it off and that was not the intent! Though I do want to see that movie and am now feeling really self conscious about Jude as a character, but whatever, he's his own man, dammit. I'm rambling. Anyway, things start speeding up now! Thanks for being patient!!

Disclaimer: I don't own THAT 70S SHOW nor The Beatles nor FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS.

* * *

Jackie and Brooke were arriving back at the hotel after an evening of dinner and dancing, and went to the bar. It was nearing the end of Jude's set, and he was playing up the lounge singer act quite well, singing 'I'm A Believer'. Jackie and Brooke sat at a table, and motioned for a waitress to come over. They ordered their drinks, and Jude noticed them in the audience.

"Okay Jackie, you were right," Brooke said. "This was a good time. Has it changed your view of Vegas at all?"

"No, not really," Jackie said. "But I can appreciate the idea of just kicking back to forget your problems. When I get home, I'm going to work things out with Donna. But I'm not going to with Steven."

"Well that's your choice," Brooke answered. Their drinks were served, and they sipped them and watched Jude's show.

"Jeeze he's attractive," Jackie muttered.

"Yeah he is," Brooke said. "But it may just be the alcohol talking."

"Who cares? In this case it's a GREAT conversationalist."

"I'm going to finish the night with an old classic," Jude said, and Jackie and Brooke clapped enthusiastically. "I hope you all enjoy your stay in Vegas. You're a great audience, and I hope that you find your way down 'The Long and Winding Road'." He pointed at the piano player, though internally grimacing at the fact he had to be so cheesy when introducing one of his favorite songs, and the familiar chords began to play.

"The long and winding road that leads to your door will never disappear. I've seen that road before. It always leads me here, lead me to your door," he sang. He did have a nice voice. It was too bad he's just a lounge singer, Jackie thought. "The wild and windy nights that the rain washed away has left a pool of tears, crying for the day. Why leave me standing here? Let me know the way." Jackie swayed with the music, drinking her Pina Colada faster than normal. She loved this song, but it made her think of her and Hyde. Brooke could tell that she was getting sad, so she rubbed her back.

"Many times I've been alone, and many times I've cried. Anyway, you've always known the many times I've tried. But still they lead me back to the long, winding road. You left me waiting here a long long time ago. Don't keep me standing here. Lead me to your door." His eyes fell on Jackie a few times, and Jackie kept drinking her cocktail. Brooke saw the looks they were giving, and she smiled to herself. This was what Jackie needed. Affirmation of being attractive. Even if it was from a stranger in Vegas.

He walked through the audience, most of them indifferent, but he didn't care. He wasn't singing for them. He was singing for himself. And for the petite brunette who looked as if she needed a good cheering up. As he sang he walked towards her, and she felt her face flush.

"But still they lead me back to the long winding road. You left me waiting here a long long time ago." He winked at Jackie, and she smiled, and stared at the handsome singer. He could be fun. And maybe it was the fact that she'd had a few drinks that night, and that she'd only eaten a salad for dinner, but she felt very attracted to Jude at that moment. "Don't leave me standing here. Lead me to your door…"

After his set was done, Jude walked to the bar and ordered a drink.

"You should go talk to him," Brooke said, and Jackie sipped on her drink.

"Oh jeeze, I don't know," Jackie said. "I mean…. Do you think so?"

"Yeah, completely," Brooke said. "He seems really into you."

"Well he is cute... But…Wouldn't that make me a hypocrite?" Jackie asked. "I mean, I lambasted Steven so much…"

"You don't owe him anything," Brooke said. "It would have been one thing if he kept it in Vegas, but he didn't. He picked a stranger over you. Go have fun with Jude!"

"What about you?" Jackie asked.

"Well I'm looking forward to a good nights sleep," Brooke said. "I rarely get those at home cuz of the baby." Jackie bit her lip, and squealed a little bit.

"Okay, I'm going to do it," Jackie said.

"Just be safe," Brooke said. "If anything seems fishy, walk away. And if it gets to the bedroom, use protection."

"I will," Jackie said. "How do I look?"

"You look great."

"Okay. Wish me luck, Brooke."

"Good luck!" Brooke said, and Jackie stood up and walked to the bar. Brooke smiled, happy with her matchmaking. She left the bar, and planned on a nice long bubble bath and cable TV.

"Hey," Jackie said, sitting next to Jude.

"Well hello," he said.

"Nice song."

"Ah, thanks," he said, smiling a little. He ran a hand through his hair. "It's one of my favorites."

"Me too."

"I love the Beatles, I don't feel like I did the song justice, not in Vegas anyway. I like singing, but I'm getting really sick of this whole scene, ya know?"

"How come?"

"Well, it's Vegas," he said. "When I said I was going to be a singer I never thought I'd be in a lounge. Especially at age twenty six."

"Well, you did a good job," Jackie said, feeling quite bold because of the alcohol. "Care if I join you?"

"… Certainly not," he answered, and smiled at her. "Hey Lance! Get us two daiquiris!"

"I shouldn't drink anymore," Jackie said. "I had wine with dinner, and the Pina Colada-."

"It's Vegas, kiddo," he said. "Indulge yourself before you go back to the Midwest."

"Oh God, don't remind me," Jackie said. "I don't want to go home tomorrow."

"All the more reason then," he said. She didn't laugh at his joke, so he cleared his throat."Why don't you want to go home? Don't tell me you love it here too much."

"Oh no," Jackie said. "This place is part of my pain, actually."

"Huh?"

"My ex…." she said, sadly. "We… We had a falling out and then he came here and married a stripper."

"…. A Vegas stripper?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that's…. That actually really sucks," he said, and she nodded. "So why the hell did you come here?"

"Well it helped him forget me, I thought I should return the favor," she said, and lifted her daiquiri.

"You know what helps forgetting?" he asked.

"What?"

"More alcohol." She laughed, and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Well then, are you buying?" she asked.

"Certainly. I got a tab a thousand miles long here, what's a few more drinks?" he asked. "Lance!"

"To a tab!" she agreed, and they clinked glasses.

"You know, I understand your predicament a little bit," he said. "I'd been dating this girl, she's a cocktail waitress at Circus Circus, and she dumped me a couple weeks ago."

"How could she give up a talented guy like you?"

"Please. When it's between a lounge singer and a playboy who is also the heir to a small fortune, the choice is obvious," he stated.

"Were you desperately in love with her?" Jackie asked, resting her chin on her hand.

"Desperately in love with Roseanna? No," he said, and smiled confidently as he had to convince himself of this. "But the chance of love… I really liked that idea." She gave him a sympathetic nod, and he turned his smile to her. He knew she didn't believe him.

"Want to go to Circus Circus and have me be the impossible customer who is never satisfied with her drink?" Jackie asked, and he chuckled. "If it makes you feel better, Brooke and I went to heckle strippers last night. It was a good tiiiiiiime…"

"I'm touched you'd do that for me, I think, but no thanks," he said. "Instead I'm just going to do what I've been doing and get nice and blitzed."

"Well I'll get blitzed with you," Jackie stated. "And you don't want a skanky cocktail waitress anyway! You should go and find a nice girl!"

"There aren't really any nice girls on the Strip."

"Well you should try anyway."

"…. Maybe I've found a nice girl already," he threw out there, and Jackie grinned at the flattery.

"It's been awhile since I've been complimented like that," she said. "And even though it was a total line, it was still a nice thing to say."

"Line huh?"

"Yes, line," she stated. "Because the fact of the matter is that while I find you to be very handsome and very sweet, I'm not really looking for a guy right now in my life."

"Ah, I see," he said. "Well lucky for you I'm done with women for the time being," he said. "But that doesn't mean that we can't… Um… Well, to put it delicately-."

"Doesn't mean we can't have a fun time?"

"Yes," he said, relieved she'd found a way to say it that was more eloquent than 'leap into bed'.

"I think so too!" she said, and finished her daiquiri. "Ooh, I drank that fast."

"Well let's get another round," he said. "Lance! Keep 'em coming!"

* * *

Jackie opened her eyes to a faded, old clock. She groaned, and her head THROBBED in pain. She sat up, and held it in her hands. She stepped out of bed, and stumbled towards the bathroom. She began brushing her teeth, and looked around. There were the remnants of a bubble bath, a couple of champagne glasses, and a plate of strawberries.

"What the hell?" she muttered, picking up the bottle. "What did I do last night???" She drained the water, and put some towels down to soak up the water on the floor. She was definitely hung over, but really happy she wasn't sick. She tried her best to remember the night before. The last thing she remembered was talking with Jude at the bar, and walking with him on the Strip... But she managed to make it back to her room. That was good. So this is how Mr. Thompson felt, she thought. I have a sudden greater appreciation for that book…

"Jackie?" the voice called, and she jumped. That was NOT Brooke's voice. She sped back out to the room, and saw Jude in the bed. How did I miss him? she thought.

"Jude! Uh…. Hi. What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice confused but sort of impressed that she'd bedded him.

"Uh… you asked me to stay the night, I think," he said. "Jeeze, is someone pounding my head with a billy club?" She began racking her brain for memories of the night before. She remembered Jude, and she remembered drinking, and then there was some dancing… She remembered that much, and some other facts about Jude. Where he was born (Wellington, New Zealand), where he grew up (at age ten his family moved to Boston, which explained his strange hybrid accent), where he went to school (Puget Sound)…

"What happened last night?" she asked, rubbing her eye with her hand. Jude sat up, and smirked.

"Well, we drank, we danced, we drank, we laughed, we drank, and then…. I don't know," he stated. He rubbed his eyes as well. "I don't remember much after that."

"Yeah, me neither," Jackie muttered. "Did we have sex?"

"I don't know," he said. "You're wearing my shirt, so I have to assume yes."

"And you're, um, naked," she said, as it all trickled back to her a little bit at a time as Jude began putting his clothes back on. "Well I wanted a Vegas weekend, I'm still one up above Steven anyway, so…" She trailed off, and noticed her left hand. There was a candy striped crackerjack ring on her finger. She looked at it, and as she did, Jude reached into his pants looking for his room key. Instead, he found a folded up piece of paper. He unfolded it groggily, and read it.

" 'This certifies that Jacqueline Beulah'… your middle name is Beulah?"

"Oh my God, what is that?" she asked, suddenly feeling ill.

" '… Jacqueline Beulah Burkhart and Jude Benjamin Duke were united in holy matrimo-'. Oh FUCK."

"WHAT?!" Jackie shrieked, ripping the paper from his hands and examining it. "Oh my God. OH my GOD!"

"What the FUCK?!"

"OH MY GOD!!!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"

She stared at the marriage license, and felt the illness that she had avoided the rest of the morning rise up into her throat. She ran for the bathroom, and Jude dug through his pants for more evidence. There was a Polaroid photo of him and Jackie from the night before, standing under a banner that said 'Chapel of Burnin' Love'. They were married by any Elvis impersonator. And of course, there was the blue plastic ring on HIS finger. He held his hands to his forehead, and tried to remember. Oh that's right, he thought…

_'You know what?' Jackie had said as they walked (or wobbled) down the strip. 'Fuck em! Fuck him and his stupid STD stripper whore!' She was very drunk. Not that Jude was much more sober than she was. 'They can be married and what do I care? Just because I wanted to get married, I'm still happy. I don't need him!'_

_'Yeah, you don't need him!' Jude agreed, arm around her waist. 'And I don't need Ro. Ro is just a floozy cocktail waitress!!...Hey! I have a great idea! What if WE get married?'_

_'You want to marry me?' she asked, and in a drunken state of euphoria she jumped into his arms and yelled in his ear 'YES! I'm gonna be a BRIDE!!!'_

Pulled back to reality by Jackie's vomiting, Jude groaned. Okay, that's it, he thought. Cut down on the booze.

Jackie left the bathroom, still feeling sick but trying to think straight.

"This is fixable," she said. "This is fixable. We can get an annulment."

"But we consummated the marriage."

"Does that make it impossible to get an annulment?"

"… I actually don't know."

"Well then we get divorced!" she exclaimed, pacing the room. "I mean, my Mom has done this kind of thing before, I'll just get her lawyer to call your lawyer, and poof! No more marriage!"

"Yeah, I suppose," Jude said. Jackie looked at the clock again, and moaned.

"Look, Jude, Brooke and I need to get on the road if we want to catch our flight in L.A.," Jackie said, just as Brooke knocked on the adjoining door.

"Jackie?" Brooke called. "Are you ready?"

"In a second!" Jackie called, throwing the rest of his clothes at him. "Jude, write down your phone number, I'll have the lawyer call you as soon as I get back to Wisconsin. But you need to get out."

"Of course," he said, and wrote it down on a pad of paper. He handed it to her, and she began throwing stuff in her bags like mad.

"We'll get this fixed, I promise," she said.

"Jackie, I-," he said, and she pointed towards the door.

"I'm so sorry, Jude, but this was just a huge mistake, you know? My emotions toward Steven weren't supposed to get so out of control that I would involve a total stranger. And you were vulnerable too because of Roseanna, so of course we were going to fall into each other, but I never meant for it to go this far, I swear!"

"Yeah, I know. I didn't either," he agreed. "Okay." She nodded, and hugged him quickly.

"I'll call you as soon as I can."

"Yep." He left the room, and she opened the other door for Brooke.

"Jackie, what was going on?" Brooke asked, and saw the messy room. "Wow! Someone got some action last night!"

"I got more than that!" Jackie exclaimed, pointing to the ring.

"… You got Cracker Jacks?"

Jude walked down the hallway, the night before slowly piecing its way back into his mind. He remembered the conversations they had, and why they got married in the first place. Because she was mad at her ass of an ex and because he was pissed at Roseanna. And he thought it was funny while he was drunk. Now it was just…. Catastrophic. Everything came back bit by bit. The wedding, the sex, the fact that he hadn't been thinking of her and that she hadn't been thinking of him. The way that they both loved and loathed their exes, and what they did. Sure, he'd been a cad at times to Roseanna, but he cared for her. Maybe he had loved her. And for her to just throw it away? For anyone who had love to just say 'fuck that shit' and toss it aside... For a playboy, or a stripper… He walked to his room, his empty room, and didn't feel like sitting on his hands and waiting for her lawyer to call. He lit up a cigarette, and stood on the balcony, deep in thought and developing a plan. He strode back into his room, and began gathering this most important possessions, which were all his possessions, which wasn't much. Just his turntable, his records, a book or two, and the clothes from his closet. He shoved everything into his two suitcases, and grabbed the phone, dialing his boss's number.

"Alan, it's Jude. I'm taking that time off you owe me. I'll call you when I get back."

* * *

Brooke and Jackie were leaving Las Vegas, pretty silently. Jackie was horrified with herself, and just kept looking at that ring on her finger. Why is that still on my finger? she wondered, and pulled it off and shoved it in her pocket.

"You know," Brooke said, "this is all kind of funny, actually."

"What?" Jackie asked. "It's not funny!"

"Oh sure it is!" Brooke said, and laughed a little bit. "In an ironic sense it's REALLY funny!"

"Me being a hypocrite is NOT funny!" Jackie snapped.

"Aw Jackie, turnabout is fair play," Brooke said, and laughed. "Hyde married a stripper in Vegas, and you married a lounge singer! At least he has talent!" She was laughing outright now, and Jackie began giggling too. It was too ludicrous not to laugh.

"I think this is the most ridiculous situation I've ever been in," Jackie said, and laughed harder. "I mean, it's one thing to sleep with him, but to MARRY him?!" They were both convulsing with laughter now, because if they didn't it would be a very difficult car ride to LA.

"Look, you're going to get this all fixed lickety split," Brooke assured her. "It's not like you have anything that the other even knows about, so no possession disputes are going to happen."

"Yeah, it's not like we have anything together to fight over," Jackie agreed, and laughed more. "Unless he wants our WEDDING PICTURE!" They howled at the Polaroid Jackie had grabbed from the hotel room floor.

"Aww, he's such a handsome groom," Brooke said. "And you both look so trashed."

"We must have been, I would NEVER have done this sober," Jackie said. "I mean really. Elvis? That's just sleazy….Brooke…. This is our secret, okay?"

"Yeah, of course," Brooke said.

"Because I don't want my other friends finding out about this, they wouldn't understand and-."

"Jackie, don't worry, I understand."

"…. Thanks."

"Anytime, girl."

"...Do you know what the worst part is?"

"What?"

"I used to tell myself only an idiot would marry someone while drunk," Jackie said, and they began laughing again.

While they drove through the desert, Jude was at the Las Vegas airport purchasing a ticket.

"I need a ticket to Green Bay," he said, and smiled at the woman at the counter.

"Flying for business?" she asked, casually.

"Nah," Jude said. "My wife is on her way out there and I'm gonna surprise her."


	4. Bad Waves of Painful Intensity

A/N: Hello all! I know that was a huge twist in the last chapter, but I found the idea just too hilarious. I want to thank everyone who has taken time to review, I know that this time of year is a little busier than usual (for example, my 13 hour Tuesdays on campus).

Disclaimer: I don't own 70S SHOW nor FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS.

* * *

Jackie and Brooke arrived at the Forman house at 7:30 central time. Jackie was going to call Pam's lawyer the next day, and they both figured that everything was going to work itself out. She'd just have to sit back and wait for the papers. For now, she wanted to surprise her friends with Brooke, and also try to make up with Donna. She knocked on the back door, and Kitty opened it.

"Jackie, Brooke!" Kitty said, smiling. "Since when do you two spend time together?"

"Oh, recently," Jackie said, and Brooke nodded.

"Well everyone is in the basement, I'm sure they'll be so happy to see you, Brooke," Kitty said. Jackie and Brooke nodded, and walked down the steps.

"Hey guys!" Jackie said. "Look who I found!"

"Brooke?" Donna asked, standing up. "Oh my God! Hi!" Brooke and Donna hugged, and Hyde waved.

"Hyde, who's that?" Sam asked, as she put a protective arm around his shoulders.

"Hi, I'm Brooke," she said, waving at Sam. "You must be SAM. I've heard a LOT about you." She smiled sweetly, but the bite was there. Now THERE is a friend, Jackie thought, and smiled at her.

"Where have you been?" Donna asked Jackie. "I mean, I know you got all pissy, but you were gone for two days. That's a long temper tantrum."

"Well we're back now," Jackie said, and the doorbell upstairs rang. "We just had some girl bonding time. We both really needed it."

"Yeah," Brooke agreed.

"Where did you go?" Donna asked.

"Madison," Jackie recited, as that was their cover story. "It was nice."

"Yeah, we walked around campus, did some swimming, you know. Friend stuff," Brooke said. Donna felt left out of the girl bonding, and sort of sulked.

At that moment, a new set of shoes were clomping down the steps. Brooke and Jackie were feeling in the clear, until none other than Jude was on the steps.

"You are IMPOSSIBLE to find," he said, and Jackie jumped. Hers and Brooke's mouths dropped, and Jude smiled at them.

"Jude?!" Jackie exclaimed. "What the HELL-?"

"What the HELL?" Brooke echoed.

"Uhhh…. Who are you?" Donna asked, and Jude smiled at her.

"Oh, I'm Jude," he said. "I met Jackie and Brooke in Vegas, and-."

"VEGAS?" Hyde asked, shocked that Jackie and Brooke of all people had gone to Vegas.

"Jude, I said that I would get in touch with you-!" Jackie exclaimed.

"Well I wanted to tell you, but you ran off so fast, I didn't have… But that's not your fault, it's mine, and… Well, I don't have a lawyer, Jackie," he said, walking to her. "Hey everyone. Which one of you is, uh, Steven?" Hyde raised his hand. "So the blonde on your lap must be Samantha. Well here's some irony for ya."

"Jude," Brooke warned, but it was too late.

"Jackie and I got married!" he said.

Now let's be clear. Jude wasn't doing this to be mean. He listened to the whole Jackie and Hyde Fiasco the night before, and damned if he wasn't going to let Jackie get a nice jab in. He'd taken a liking to the kid after all. And he saw himself in her, and Roseanna in this Hyde fellow.

"You WHAT?!" Donna and Hyde both exclaimed, and Jackie and Brooke both closed their eyes.

"Yep!" Jude said. "She got married to a stranger in Vegas! How does that feel, huh?"

"Jude, stop," Jackie said, grabbing his arm.

"You married this guy?!" Donna demanded. "You went to Vegas and MARRIED this STRANGER?"

"Hey, to be fair we were drunk," Jude said. Hyde was in shock. Jackie looked absolutely humiliated and embarrassed, and Brooke put an arm around her shoulder.

"I can't believe you!" Donna yelled. "You lay into Hyde for marrying Sam and then you go and do this?! You're such a fucking hypocrite!"

"Shut up, Donna!" Jackie yelled. "And HOW COULD YOU, JUDE?!" She ran from the basement, and Brooke sighed.

"What the hell?" Donna asked, seething. "I can't believe her! She is so petty! She goes to Vegas, probably LOOKING for a way to get back at you, Hyde, and she marries this guy!" She gestured to Jude, who just realized that maybe what he had done wasn't a good thing. Fuck, you idiot, he thought, and put a hand to his mouth in frustration with himself.

"I think it's funny!" Sam said, and laughed cruelly. "Now who's the whore? Not me!"

"Well I thought that she was past this stuff, but I guess I was wrong," Donna bitched. "To think that she would be THIS spiteful and THIS-."

"Oh stop it, Donna! I doubt that you gave that CREEP this much grief when he came back with this tramp!" Brooke snapped, gesturing towards Hyde and Sam. "You're such a self righteous-!... No, this isn't the right time. I'm going after your so called best friend." She began to leave the basement.

"Should I come with-?" Jude asked, and Brooke pointed at him.

"I'll deal with YOU later!" she snapped, and rushed after Jackie. Which left Jude with three other pissed off people. He clapped his hands together a little bit, and then Sam raised her hand.

"So where in Vegas do you perform?" she asked.

"I sing at the Bacchus Fire Lounge in the Tiberian Hotel," he said.

"Nice place!"

"Too bad it's named after a totally depraved emperor."

"Huh?"

"Never mind. What about you?"

"I stripped at the Hexy and Sexy Girly Club."

"Ewww-er-Oooooh," he said, correcting himself. "I've seen it…. When there wasn't a drunken brawl or a health inspector ordered closing, it could be pretty classy… Wait…Have we met before?"

"I don't think so," Sam said, but her voice was tighter than normal.

"Oh. Cuz I could swear that I've met you-."

"Doubtful, Vegas is a big city."

"Yeah… And you Vegas strippers all look alike, so-."

"So you married her while she was drunk, huh?" Hyde asked, his voice rigid with anger. "How many times have you done this before? Gonna try and take half her money? She's rich, you know."

"Hey man, I'm not interested in that," Jude said. "It was all just a big mistake, and-."

"Then why are you even here?" Donna piped in. Jude shrugged, and sighed as his shoulders slumped.

"I really don't know anymore," he said. "Of course, you could ask Samantha the same thing, but I bet you never thought to." He walked from the basement, leaving the three of them in awkward silence.

* * *

Jackie and Brooke were sitting on the hood of Brooke's car. Jackie was crying on Brooke's shoulder, and Brooke was rubbing her back.

"I hate myself," Jackie choked out.

"Don't say that."

"But I do!"

"You shouldn't!"

"But I do!" Brooke sighed, and Jude walked up to the car sheepishly.

"Jackie," he said, and she sat up from Brooke's shoulder.

"Why did you do that?" she demanded. "What were you thinking? I told you my lawyer would call yours-!"

"I don't have a lawyer, first off," he said, holding up his hands defensively. "Secondly, everything you told me about this guy and his wife, it pissed me off and I wanted him to pay for what he did to you!"

"Why?" Jackie asked.

"Because we had fun!" Jude said. "Look, I consider you a friend, okay? And when someone hurts my friends I kick ass! In the figurative sense. And, though I'm not proud of it, I was living through you by sticking it to your creep of an ex since I can't stick it to mine. Besides… You're a nice girl who didn't deserve what he did."

"Well that's VERY sweet, but couldn't you see how this would make things worse?" Jackie asked. "I look like a freakin' IDIOT!"

"Okay you two, calm down," Brooke said. "Look, my Uncle Logan is a lawyer who has experience with divorce cases. I'm sure he'll take you two on."

"Well that would be great," Jude said. "We need to end this marriage as soon as possible." Jackie began crying again. "Why are you crying now?"

"….. It's stupid," Jackie said.

"I doubt it, Jackie, what are you thinking?" Brooke asked.

"….. NO ONE WANTS TO MARRY ME!" she wailed, and Jude sighed in exasperation. I can't win.

"Okay sweetie, you've had a long day," Brooke said. "Let's get you home and in bed."

"… So where am I going to stay?" Jude asked.

"A hotel?" Brooke asked.

"Any good ones?"

"…. Not really."

"Oh he's my HUSBAND, he may as well stay on my mother's couch," Jackie said, blowing her nose.

"I kind of resent the fact you're so upset about marrying me while intoxicated," Jude said, following her to Brooke's car.

"It's not you," Brooke said. "Jackie, I'm going to call my Mom and ask her to watch Betsy for a couple more days, then I'm going to call work and cash in some vacation time."

"Brooke, you don't have to do that," Jackie said.

"Well the way I see it is that you can use all the allies you can get," she stated.

"And that's a question for you, Jude!" Jackie remembered. "How did you find me?"

"You told me a lot about yourself," he said. "I took that info on your social life at the Forman's and found a phone book."

"Oh…. Yeah, that works," Jackie muttered. "Well come on. Time to meet the in law."

"It's nice to see you're beginning to take this in stride," Brooke said.

"What else can I do?"

"I'll assume it's your Mom, since your Dad is in prison."

"Wow, I did tell you a lot, didn't I?" Jackie asked.

* * *

Hyde, Donna, and Sam were sitting in silence in the basement. They were still shocked about what had just gone down. Well, not really Sam. But Donna and Hyde were stunned. 

Kelso and Fez tromped down the basement steps at that moment.

"Hey guys!" Fez said.

"Man, y'all look so bummed," Kelso said. "Who died?... Oh God, did someone die?" Donna shook her head.

"No…. Jackie…. She and Brooke went to Las Vegas, and-," Donna started, but Kelso held up his hands.

"Oh man! Brooke is here?!" he asked, looking around. "Did she ask about me?"

"First of all, you two aren't even dating," Hyde snapped. "Secondly, she left with Jackie. Third, JACKIE GOT MARRIED TO A LOUNGE SINGER IN VEGAS!" Kelso and Fez were silent for a moment, and then looked at each other. They then looked at Hyde, and pointed.

"BUUUUUUUUURN!" they both yelled.

"Shut up!" Hyde snapped, and kicked Kelso in the shin.

"Ow!"

"Would you guys stop it?" Donna barked. "Jesus, what the hell was she thinking?"

"She obviously wasn't thinking, Donna," Hyde muttered. "I mean, that just isn't like Jackie!"

"Unless she was being REALLY spiteful," Donna said.

"Even then though," Hyde muttered.

"Why do you even care, man?" Kelso asked.

"Yeah, why DO you care?" Sam demanded.

"I don't care!" he said. "I just…. I don't. Whatever."

"Well I do care!" Donna exclaimed. "Where does Brooke get off calling me self righteous?"

"BURN!" Kelso yelled.

"STOP SAYING BURN!" Donna yelled. "You don't think she's gonna keep him as her husband, do you? I mean, what kind of person stays MARRIED to the random idiot they impulsively got hitched to in Vegas?"

"Thanks, Donna," Hyde growled.

"Well it's a valid question!" Donna insisted.

"I'm not an idiot!" Sam cried.

"I can't be in this basement right now, I have to go," Donna muttered, and stamped out the door. Fez sighed.

"What's wrong, buddy?" Kelso asked.

"I wanted to see Jackie's husband."

"Well Jackie was so desperate to get married you'll probably see a lot of him," Kelso said. "Is he cute?"

"Oh yeah, he's a FOX," Sam said. "Jackie is probably extremely happy." Hyde snorted, and stood up. Sam fell off his lap, and he also stormed from the basement. "Well what was THAT about?"

"Jackie married someone else," Fez stated.

"Well he married ME!" Sam bitched. "He shouldn't even care!" She was the third to storm from the basement. Fez and Kelso were left alone.

"…. TV?" Kelso asked.

"Okee."

* * *

Jackie opened the door to the house, and prayed that Pamela was asleep. She listened, and didn't hear any salsa music coming from the upstairs. She turned on the light, and Jude and Brooke walked in.

"Okay, sleeping arrangements can be as follows," Jackie said, setting her bags down. "Brooke, you can take the futon and sleep in my room with me. Jude, you can take the pullout couch."

"Shouldn't it be the other way around?" Jude asked, setting his bags down as well.

"If you crack one more marriage joke-," Jackie warned, and he laughed a little.

"That's the last one…. For the evening."

"Brooke, you can use the phone in the kitchen," Jackie said, pointing.

"Okay," Brooke replied, and walked through the living room. "Jackie, I like this house!"

"You wouldn't if you lived here," Jackie said. She began pulling out the couch, and Jude cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"What for?"

"For showing up…. And humiliating you," he said. "I really didn't mean for that to happen." She smiled at him sadly.

"It was bound to happen anyway," Jackie said. "People have a way of finding this stuff out. I'm sure my Mother would have seen someone at the country club and said 'You know, my daughter had to get a quickee divorce'. And then it would have been all over the place." He nodded, and sat on one of the chairs.

"…. The evening weather here is cold," he said. "It used to get like this is Boston sometimes, but certainly not in New Zealand or Vegas."

"It's worse up by Lake Superior."

"… It's official."

"Huh?" she asked, turning to him.

"When you get married you run out of things to talk about," he said, and Jackie chuckled a little bit. "Hey, a smile! I'm doing something right." She pulled out the couch bed, and sighed. She laid back on it, and Jude did as well.

"This is just screwed up."

"Yep," he said. "…. Wanna watch TV?"

"Okay," she said, and turned on the television. "Ooh! It's 'It Happened One Night'!"

"I love this movie!"

"No way!"

"Seriously, I do!" he said. "Clark Gable is a badass in it!"

"Oh please."

"Well he's a verbal badass anyways."

"Okay, I'll give you that."

"It's too bad that he was just an ass in real life."

"Oh no WAY! He was Rhett Butler!"

"I've heard things about him," Jude said. "Dark and scary things."

Brooke walked back into the room.

"Okay, Mom said she'd take Betsy for a few more days," Brooke said. "I called work and talked to my boss, and she said I could have two days off. And I called my uncle but I had to leave a message."

"Where was he?" Jackie asked, sitting up fully.

"A client's wedding for the weekend."

"THAT'S ironic," Jude said. Brooke sat next to them on the pull out couch.

"Is this some kind of Vegas slumber party thing?" Brooke asked.

"Oh my GOSH, we should TOTALLY have a slumber party!" Jackie exclaimed, feeling more at ease as time went on. "And your uncle better call you back soon, because if he doesn't-."

"He will, Jackie, just enjoy the married life while you can," Brooke said.

"Thanks."

"A girl's slumber party. And I'm invited as a strictly platonic guest. I guess HALF my dream has come true," Jude said.


	5. The Only Final Sin Is Stupidity

A/N: Sorry this is a little late coming, guys. I had a hard time splitting it up in the right place, then I had to add some more so it would split up well. And plus, the day I would have posted it, a friend really needed a shoulder to cry on, so I was out with her basically all night. But excuses are through and here's the next chapter. Reviews are welcome, but not required.

Disclaimer: I don't own 70S SHOW nor FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS.

* * *

The next morning, Pamela Burkhart walked down the steps and into the main room. She saw her daughter sleeping on the pullout couch with two people she didn't quite recognize. She walked up next to Jackie, and nudged her with a slipper clad foot. Jackie sat up, and rubbed her eyes. 

"What's..? Where…? Mom?" Jackie asked, and Brooke and Jude stirred.

"Jackie sweetie, what are you doing on the pullout couch?" Pamela asked, and Jude sat up, yawning. "And WHO is this?" She put on a sexy smile, and Jackie rolled her eyes.

"Mom, this is Jude," Jackie said, and Pamela extended her hand. Jude accepted it, scratching his head with grogginess.

"Well well," Pamela said. "How come I've never met you before?"

"Jude isn't from around here," Jackie said, tartly. "Mom, perhaps you want to let go of his hand?"

"Well Jackie sweetie, I just want to be polite," Pamela cooed.

"Mom, for God's sake, you're making a fool of yourself!" Jackie exclaimed.

"So this is the in law," Jude stated, and Pam dropped his hand.

"I'm your WHAT?" she asked, and Jackie hit him in the ribs.

"Jude, you are such a blabbermouth!"

"I'm sorry, I don't know when to quit."

"Jacqueline!" Pamela said. "What did he mean by that?"

"…. Jude and I got married," Jackie said. "BY ACCIDENT, and I'm going to blame his big mouth on his sleepiness."

"You got married?" Pamela asked. "Jackie, how long have you been seeing him?"

"Mom, again, this isn't permanent or a big deal," Jackie said, and Brooke sat up finally.

"GOD that felt good," she said. "That couch is comfier than my bed at home!"

"And who is this?" Pamela asked, fuming. "Your sister in law?"

"… I'm Brooke," Brooke said. Pamela stormed from the main room, and Jackie sighed.

"Man, she's pretty upset that you did this, huh?" Jude asked, stretching.

"Only because she isn't trampy enough to make a move on her daughter's husband," Jackie said. "Just wait though. Once this thing gets annulled she'll be all over you." Jude chuckled, and Brooke stood up too.

"Jackie, may I use your phone? I want to call Mom to check in on Betsy."

"Of course, Brooke," Jackie said, and threw the covers back over her head. Jude poked her foot with his finger. "Ow."

"That didn't hurt."

"I want to sleep."

"I can make you breakfast."

"How about breakfast in bed for me?"

"How about I drag you out by your ankle?"

"You are so pushy," she muttered, and threw another blanket over her head, almost daring him. And he was willing to take her up on it. He grabbed her ankle, and she shrieked as he dragged her from the bed. She hit the floor, and glared up at him.

"You're a creep," she muttered.

"Do you want pancakes or eggs?"

"… Pancakes. I don't know if we have anything other than coffee and Baileys when it comes to breakfast things. This is my mother's house, after all."

"I'm sure I can make something for you and Brooke, and your Mom if she is hungry."

"… Well thank you," Jackie said. "What a good husband."

"Too bad it can't last, huh?" he asked, and she stood up.

"Yeah. Pancakes?" she asked, smiling a little. He smiled too, and they walked into the kitchen.

* * *

Brooke had told Jackie and Jude that she was going to meet them at the coffee house after she had stopped into the Library to say hi to some old coworkers. She looked up at the building and smiled to herself. Some good memories were here for her. She missed the solitude of Point Place Library, where she could shelve and shelf read in peace and not be harassed by rude people in a rush to get a book. She sat on the steps, and smiled up at the 10am sun. She missed this town… 

"Brooke?" the voice said. She looked down from the sky, and saw Michael Kelso standing before her. She stood up, and felt her heart crawl up her throat. It hadn't really occurred to her that she would be seeing Michael on this trip, she had been so wrapped up in Jackie and Jude it just didn't cross her mind.

"Michael, hi," she said. Okay, maybe it had crossed her mind once or twice, but… She'd hoped she wouldn't run into him.

"Brooke, why didn't you tell me you were going to be in town?" he asked.

"Well honestly I didn't know that I was," Brooke said. "I mean, Jackie called me in a tizzy, and then I was just going to drop her off, but then… Well, I'm sure you've heard all about it." Kelso nodded, and smiled despite himself.

"That was a GREAT burn on Jackie's part," he said. "I mean, MAN! AWESOME!"

"I don't think she sees it that way," Brooke said, and began to walk away.

"Hey wait. Where are you going?" he asked. "I mean, we haven't even talked to each other yet."

"What is there really to say, Michael?" she asked, softly. "Betsy is fine, you know you get to take her for a week in a month, what else is there for us to talk about?"

"…. Well…. You stopped calling," he said.

"Actually, you're the one who stopped calling me," she stated. "Remember? Betsy was born, you stayed for awhile, then you came back here. You called every day. Then every other day. Before long I would be lucky to hear from you once a month."

"I've been busy, Brooke," he said, but she shook her head.

"It's fine, Michael, it's fine," she stated. "I understand, and frankly, I'm glad that our relationship is about Betsy and only Betsy. We tried to make it more but it just… We're too different. I'm just glad that you're still in our daughter's life, that's more than a lot of guys can say."

"Brooke… I was going to call you-."

"But you had dates to go on and other women to sleep with," she stated. "Do you want me to go on?" He didn't, so he stopped. "Look, Michael…. I believed in us for about ten minutes. But I can't do that anymore." With that, she made a beeline for her car, leaving Kelso in the middle of the sidewalk, feeling pretty low.

* * *

"So is that a white chocolate mocha?" Jude asked as Jackie sipped the hot beverage. 

"Actually, it's a RASPBERRY white chocolate mocha."

"You like those fancy shmansy drinks, huh?"

"I suppose you could say that," she said. "Don't you?"

"No."

"Psh, typical."

Brooke rushed in, and sat at their table. She looked completely spooked, and Jackie gave her a weird look.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, and Brooke smiled reassuringly.

"Oh yes!" she stated. "Sorry I was later than I thought. How's the coffee?"

"It's not too bad," Jude said. "Of course, it's just coffee, none of this fancy shmansy-."

"Enough with the fancy shmansy," Jackie said. "Brooke, what's going on?"

"Nothing," Brooke lied. "So are you going to the basement?"

"Oh God no," Jackie said. "No interest. NONE. None."

"Maybe a little interest," Jude said, smirking.

"NO," Jackie protested, hitting his shoulder. "I just don't want to stir up more trouble."

"Oh screw trouble," Jude said. "They can't drive you out for doing what you did."

"I'm driving myself out. I'm ostracizing myself so they can't have that power over me."

"I'll ostracize myself too," Brooke said, taking a sip of Jackie's mocha.

"Okay, seriously! What is going on?" Jackie asked. Brooke sighed, and shrugged.

"I don't want to see Michael, you don't want to see Steven, we're in the same boat," Brooke stated. "Ever since he lost interest in me I've been pretty hurt, and I pretty much ducked and ran not fifteen minutes ago when I saw him outside the library."

"Ouch," Jackie said. "Oh Brooke. Michael is a dog. Steven is a dog. They're all dogs. Men are dogs!"

"So if we're ostracizing ourselves, where are we going to hang out?" Brooke asked.

"Not my Moms house, that's for sure," Jackie stated. "Ooh! What about here?"

"There's only so much beatnik ambiance I can take, wifey," Jude said. "Look, can we just go to the basement?"

"No!" Jackie and Brooke both exclaimed.

"You two are complete wusses."

"Excuse me, you have nothing to lose here," Brooke said. "Jackie wants to avoid a bunch of judgmental friends, and I want to avoid the father of my child because he's-."

"I know your excuses are totally valid, but it's still wussy," Jude stated, knowing that if he went this route they would need to prove him wrong. They were like that.

"Jude, Donna and Steven-."

"Ah screw Donna and Steven," Jude said, waving her off. "Who cares what they think? You have just as much right to be down there as they do, and more right than Samantha."

"… That's true…"

"And Brooke, I know that you're scared about Michael," Jude continued, and Brooke flushed a little bit. "I'd be scared too. But you two need to face your fears together, okay? Otherwise, they win. You don't want them to win, do you?"

"I hate losing!" Jackie exclaimed, becoming more empowered as Jude spoke. "… Brooke, he's right."

"Jackie…"

"Brooke, we can do this, because we're doing it together." She took Brooke's hand, and looked into her eyes. "We're strong. We can do this." Brooke looked back at Jackie, and saw a very earnest, if not naïve, friend in front of her.

"Jeeze. Fine. Okay, I suppose that it's better to face our fears than to run away from them. If that's the value I want to instill in my daughter I should probably live by it as well."

"That's the spirit you two," Jude stated. "And honestly, I would rather hang out in a basement instead of your Mom's house, Jackie."

"Me too. It's amazing that I'm more wary of my Mother than my friends who think I'm a complete idiot."

"That's screwy," Jude stated.

"She's screwy," Brooke said, fighting that knot that was turning in her stomach.

"Are there any good bakeries around here?" Jude asked. "The food in this place looks suspicious and hippie-esque."

"There's a bakery next door," Jackie said, pointing over her shoulder. "And HEY, the food is good here!"

"I'll take your word for it, raspberry white mocha girl," Jude said. "I'm going to go get a cruller or something."

"We'll be here, complaining about men," Brooke said.

"So sorry I have to miss that," Jude said.

He walked into the bakery, and stood in line. Now this is what I'm talking about, he thought, and smiled a little bit. He eyed the food in the case as he waited to get to the front of the line, and looked up at the cashier. Though he didn't recognize her, Jackie probably would have, as would the rest of the group she was avoiding at the moment. The brunette with the big brown eyes was reluctantly serving customers, still resenting the loss of her job at the radio station thanks to a jealous bottle blonde. Sarah looked at the man who was coming up the line, an unfamiliar face who made her do a double take.

"Morning, what would you like?" she asked, her usually sullen voice a little more vivacious. He looked at her, and smiled a little bit.

"Could I get one of those donuts there?" he asked, pointing at a powdered sugar treat in the case. She sighed theatrically.

"Can I recommend something?" she asked, her smokey voice lilting with a teasing yet helpful tone.

"Well sure, I'm sure you know what's good, seeing as you work here," he said.

"Seeing as it's my Dad's bakery, yeah," she said. "And I know what food of his is great and what's… not." She flashed a sultry grin, and pointed at the cinnamon roll. "THAT is what you want to have today."

"Is it?"

"Totally," she said, and reached into the display case to grab it for him. "It's cheaper than the donut too. That's a big plus." She handed him the roll, and he raised his eyesbrows as he took a bite.

"You're right," he said, mouth full of cinnamon decadence. "What do I owe you?"

"A dollar," she said, and then leaned in. "But since I like you, it's on me."

"Oh come off it, you don't have to-," he began, but she reached into her pocket and put a dollar bill in the register. "Well thank you."

"Anytime," she said, arching an eyebrow at him. "You should come in here more often now that I'm working here."

"Actually I'm only in town for a short time."

"Well then pay me a visit before you head home," she stated. "See you around, Cinnamon." He nodded, and left the bakery, a smile plastered to his face, along with cinnamon glaze.

He walked back into the coffee house, and sat across from Brooke and Jackie.

"Looks like you REALLY like that cinnamon roll," Jackie said, and he shrugged.

"What can I say? I like baked goods," he said. Brooke and Jackie exchanged glances, and smirked at him. "What?"

"Nothing," they both said, evasively.

* * *

Hyde hadn't slept well the night before. He was sitting at the breakfast table, and Kitty set a plate of food in front of him. 

"Here's some eggs and toast, Steven," she said. "Where is Samantha?"

"Still sleeping."

"Still??? It's almost ten thirty!" Kitty said, her disapproval unmasked. "Well if she thinks I'm going to keep this food warm for her she has another think coming!"

"Don't worry about it. Let her miss breakfast."

"…. Why are you such a cranky pants today Steven?" Kitty asked, sitting across from him. He shrugged. "Is this because of Jackie and her husband?"

"Nope." Kitty smiled a little at his denial. Where did we go wrong with these kids and their impulsive mockeries of marriage, she wondered, but just pat his hand.

"If that isn't bothering you, why have you barely said anything to Samantha since yesterday?"

"Who says I didn't talk to Samantha?"

"Well, the fact you slept in your old room last night says a lot," Kitty said. Hyde shrugged.

"I missed my old bed last night, that's all."

"Sweetie, it's okay to be jealous," Kitty stated. "I don't blame you. From what I saw of Jude, he's handsome, and polite, and if Jackie married him, that says something-."

"No it doesn't!" Hyde said. "She was gonna marry anyone she could get her hands on! She just wanted a husband, it didn't matter who?"

"Do you really believe that?" Kitty asked. "Is that what you're mad about? You thought that she just wanted to marry SOMEONE and she didn't love you for you?"

"That's not what I said."

"Oh sweetie," Kitty said, sympathy oozing from her voice. "I hope you don't really believe that. Because I saw the way she would look at you. She only had eyes for you."

"Well not anymore."

"And that shouldn't matter, as you're married."

"……."

"Okay, I'll let you finish your eggs and toast," Kitty said, patting his hand. He nodded, and ate his breakfast slowly. I'll get Red to talk to him later, she thought.

It doesn't matter that she's married, I'm just mad because Donna made such a big deal about it, and that she was just using me to get a husband, and that she runs off to Vegas and marries a stranger after blasting me, his mind rambled, trying to justify his bitterness in any way he could that didn't speak to the obvious. It was difficult though. Because he didn't care that Donna was mad, and of course Jackie didn't just see Hyde as simply the man who would give her the ring. He hated the fact that he still had that ring in a box in his car, that he couldn't bring himself to pawn it, that a small part of him was constantly screaming at him that he should have waited for an explanation. That he shouldn't have ever gone to Vegas. Though he'd force that small part into the very back of his mind, it was clawing its way forward. And now that Jude was here, it wouldn't shut up.

Sam walked down the steps, about as responsive as the living dead, and sat across from him.

"My eggs are cold."

"Next time get up earlier."

"Where did you go last night?"

"I couldn't sleep, it was too hot up there, I slept in the basement." (On the cot, the cot Jackie and I would-). Stop it.

"Well, I was cold," Sam said, and Hyde noticed something new on her finger.

"What is that?" he demanded, grabbing her hand. She squeaked a little in surprise, and then yanked it away.

"I found it in your car! Sorry if I ruined the surprise, but I just had to wear it!"

"That isn't yours!"

"Well whose is it then? Your MOM'S? Doubtful."

"Just take it off."

"… Oh I get it," Sam said, holding her hand in a fist to protect her precious purloined treasure. "This was going to be for Jackie, wasn't it?"

"….. Just take it off."

"Hyde, you should be thankful that I'm not kicking your ass for holding onto this," Sam said.

"I'm not holding onto it, I just hadn't gone to pawn it yet!"

"Well don't pawn it, I'll take it, you never gave me a ring and now this is two birds with one stone!"

"That's tacky, take it off," he said. She huffed, and yanked it off her finger.

"Fine, take it," she snapped, throwing it across the table. "But when you pawn it, you owe me a ring. Something better than that plastic cracker jack ring Jude was wearing. And you say I'm tacky." She ate her cold eggs, in a deep sulk, and Hyde put the ring in his pocket. Well now I have to find time to pawn it, he thought.

(Or you could just stick it in your old sock drawer in the basement)

Hyde decided that just this once he was going to listen to that nagging sensation in his head.

* * *

A/N 2: I had to bring Sarah, a seemingly throw away character, into this. For two reasons. 1) I LOVE Eliza Dushku (Faith the Vampire Slayer anyone?), and 2) I thought that it was rotten that Donna conspired to get her fired because she 'stole her job' (baloney, by the way, face the consequences of your actions, Donna!). And also, Jude needs a love interest. I owe him that. 


	6. A Crisis of Confidence

A/N: So much delay in my posting!!! I had two tests today which ate up most of my time for anything else. So here is the next chapter. I hope that you guys are still hanging in there with me, there's more gang interaction in this chapter, I promise. Reviews are not required but always put a smile on my face!

Disclaimer: I don't own THAT 70S SHOW nor FEAR AND LOATING IN LAS VEGAS. But Jude is mine and I may share if you ask nicely. ;-)

* * *

The gang (plus Sam) was in the basement, just chilling and doing their own thing. The door opened, and in walked the Pariahs. Donna looked up, and crossed her arms.

"Before you start, I want to explain myself," Jackie said, holding up her hand and looking right at the ex redhead on the couch. "I don't think I should have to, but since it seems that you want me to I'm going to. THAT'S maturity."

"What are you talking about?" Donna asked.

"Donna, after the fight we had the other day, I was really REALLY low, okay? I thought that you had chosen Sam over me, and I felt alone and devastated. I didn't want to lose another important person in my life to HER."

"I'm right here you know," Sam muttered.

"So I called Brooke because she's the only other girl that I actually get along with on a long term level, and I wanted to get away from Point Place because this town really sucks right now," Jackie said. "And obviously, we got carried away."

"You more than Brooke, I'd say," Hyde said, cruelly. Jackie ignored him, and Jude sort of glared.

"ANYWAY, what happened between me and Jude was just a mistake, we both understand that, and we're trying to fix it," Jackie said. "Brooke's uncle is going to get back to us and we're going to get this annulled or we're going to get divorced or something. Whichever it is, we're fixing it. So until that happens, Jude's gonna be around."

"And so am I, at least for awhile," Brooke said. "What with it being my uncle and all…"

"So you can just deal with it because it happened and you can call me a hypocrite if you want, but we're trying to make things right," Jackie said.

"It's true," Jude piped in.

"… That's her husband?" Fez whispered to Kelso, but Kelso ignored him because he was looking at Brooke, who wouldn't meet his gaze.

"I'm reaching out here, you guys, okay? I can admit when I've made a blunder and I'm trying to fix it, so please stop judging me, okay?" Jackie asked.

"So is that an apology?" Donna asked.

"I have nothing to apologize for," Jackie said, firmly. "It's an admission of idiocy and an explanation for it. But there is no 'I'm sorry', because this isn't about you." While Donna sort of stared at her, and Hyde couldn't look at the way Jude had put his hand on her shoulder, Fez stood up.

"I STILL LOVE YOU JACKIE!" he exclaimed, and hugged her. She 'oof'ed a little bit, but smiled and hugged him back. Kelso stood too, and pulled his gaze from Brooke briefly to smile at Jackie.

"Want me to get the Stupid Helmet?" he asked. "Cuz you can wear it if you want."

"Stupid Helmet?" Jude whispered to Brooke, who shrugged.

"If you really want me to, Michael," Jackie said, and Kelso grinned.

"I'll find it then," he said, and began his search. Brooke smiled a little at him, and then put her arm around Jackie. Donna sighed, and shrugged.

"Okay, you can hang out here," Donna said.

"Not that she needs your permission," Hyde heard himself say, unable to understand why he was defending the girl he was supposed to not care about, and Sam looked at him suspiciously. "… Cuz… she needs MY permission."

"Why, cuz you're squatting here?" Jude asked, a little fiercer than he meant to. Hyde shot him a look. He didn't like this guy.

"Jude," Jackie warned.

"Sorry."

"Okay, now that everything is out there, we're going to act like everything is fine," Jackie said. "If you have anything else to say to me, say it now…. Donna, I'm looking at you." Donna sighed, and then stood up.

"Jackie…… I'm sorry," Donna said. "I didn't mean to upset you the other day, and I went off the handle last night because I'm sick of my friends making stupid mistakes. I expect it from the guys, but you…. It's weird." Jackie smiled a little as Donna smiled wryly.

"I know!" Jackie exclaimed, sighing in relief just as Kelso put the Packers Helmet on her head. "Oh, I see you found it."

"And it looks so becoming on you!" Brooke said, clapping a little bit.

"So we both made mistakes, okay?" Donna asked. "I did a lot of thinking and realized that it was wrong of me to just scream at you when you were already upset. So I take all that back." Jackie smiled, and hugged Donna.

"Jude," Donna said. "We got off on the wrong foot…. I'm Donna." She held out her hand, and he shook it.

"Jackie's told me so much about you," he said, grinning. He liked being right.

Hyde watched them all crowd around Jude in disbelief. His brain was telling him that he shouldn't have expected anything less, as they welcomed Sam with open arms, but when the shoe was on the other foot, it felt different. It felt bad. He also didn't like how he was feeling towards Jude. He had no reason to see Jude as the jerk he did see him as. He didn't like that everyone was accepting him, even though they accepted HIS Vegas spouse as well. The nagging voice in the back of his head was about to bombard him with questions and what ifs, so he stood up.

"Well welcome to the basement," he said, voice as even as he could make it. Because he'd be damned if he was going to let a little thing like his ex girlfriend's marriage ruin his day…. It was too bad that it already had.

"So now that everything is all hunky dorey, look what I picked up today," Kelso said, pulling a board game out from a paper bag by the table. "It's The Newlywed Game! I thought that maybe Hyde and Sam could play Jackie and Jude!"

"Michael, that's so tactless!" Brooke exclaimed.

"That is pretty stupid, Kelso," Donna agreed.

"You can have the Helmet back," Jackie griped, taking it off her head and tossing it to him.

"You know," Jude said, pensively. "… I think we could take them."

"Are you serious?" Jackie asked.

"… Yeah," he said, grinning cunningly.

"I think we could take THEM, Baby!" Sam cooed, excited by the idea that 1) she would get to humiliate Jackie in yet another way, and 2) she could participate in her favorite TV show, even if vicariously.

"Forget it," Hyde snapped.

"… Chicken," Fez suggested. Kelso began making clucking noises, which prompted Fez to flap his arms at his sides, and Jude to start strutting around like a rooster. Donna and Brooke stifled laughter, and Jackie smiled smugly.

"I'm not chicken, you jerk offs, I just think that-."

"That you'd lose?" Jackie baited. The taunting of his ex lit an angry flame in his soul, and it didn't help that her husband was prancing and jeering him with his other friends.

"Fine," he said. "Let's do this." Sam clapped.

Kelso designated himself Bob Eubanks after Brooke refused to team up with him. There were three teams. Team Hyde, Team Duke, and Team Pinciotti (as Fez begged Donna to be on a team with him so he could play too). Brooke was named score keeper.

"Okay, the first question is for the husbands," Kelso said. "What is your wife's favorite cocktail?"

"What if we aren't entirely sure of what a cocktail is?" Fez asked, raising his hand.

"Gah, fine Fez! Alcoholic beverage!" Kelso clarified.

Hyde knew this. At least, he was pretty sure he did. Hadn't he binged with Sam in Vegas? He looked at his chalkboard, and wrote down 'Screwdriver'.

"Okay, time's up," Kelso said. "Pinciotti Team first. Fez. What's Donna's favorite drink?" Fez held up his chalkboard.

"Long Island Iced Tea?" he asked, and Donna scowled and showed her answer. 'White Russian'. "I thought you liked Long Island Iced Tea!"

"Because of that one time?" she whined.

"Team Hyde," Kelso said, moving on, and Hyde showed his answer.

"Nuh uh!" Sam shrieked, flipping her board. "Baby, I like straight tequila!"

"Oh, oops," he said, not taking it at all to heart.

"Team Duke?"

"Pina Colada," Jude said, flipping his board as he smiled at Jackie, who grinned and flipped her board too.

"He's right!" she giggled. "One point for Team Duke!"

"Psh, everyone knows that," Hyde said.

"Hey hey hey, no noise from the peanut gallery!" Kelso scolded, and Brooke marked down the point. "This next question is for the wives. Ladies: If your husband was a cartoon character or comic book character, who would he be?"

What crap, Hyde thought as he wrote down his answer of 'Batman'. He looked over and saw Jackie deep in thought as she worked out an answer. Now that this was an introspective question he knew she wouldn't get it. How could she? She'd known the guy all of 72 hours.

"Team Pinciotti?" Donna held up her answer. "Burn! Pepe LePew!"

"Is it because he's horny or smelly?" Brooke asked.

"Horny," Donna answered, and Fez revealed the same answer. "Oh hey! I got it!"

"But I said it because Pepe LePew is charming," Fez said grumpily.

"Team Hyde?" Sam held up her answer, and everyone burst out laughing, except Hyde, who was flabbergasted.

"Donald Duck!?!" he spat, throwing his Batman answer on the table.

"Yeah!" she said, fiercely.

"Why?! If you can't tell, I'm neither a sailor nor a DUCK!"

"Well Fez isn't a skunk! And you ARE a grouch!" Sam barked, crossing her arms in a huff.

"She's right about that," Donna interjected. "I'd have gone with Shaggy from Scooby Doo…"

"Why not Batman?" Hyde asked.

"Or even better, WHY Batman?" Kelso threw back.

"I'll answer THAT," Jackie said, raising her hand. "Because Batman is angsty, powerful, and he lost his parents. DUUUUUH!" She smiled at Sam, triumphantly. "And here's MY answer for Jude. Aquaman."

"Hell yes!" Jude said, revealing his answer, and Brooke clapped as she added the point.

"Oh COME ON!" Hyde growled. "Aquaman?? Who picks Aquaman???"

"Damn Jackie, how'd you get that one?" Kelso asked.

"Because Jude grew up on the ocean both in Wellington and Boston, so he loves swimming," Jackie sniffed. "I remember SOME things before we blacked out."

"That's my wifey!" Jude chuckled, clapping her on the back.

The game didn't get much better for Team Hyde as it progressed. Team Duke had amassed seven points in seven rounds, Team Pinciotti had four, and Team Hyde had one, and that was only because Sam whispered the answer to Hyde, that her favorite book was 'The Collected Writings of Ann Landers'. It was now the final round, and Kelso had decreed that it was going to be worth ten points, to spice things up a little bit and to give Teams Hyde and Pinciotti a chance to catch up. When Donna pointed out that this would render the other rounds useless, he simply ignored her.

"So this is the last question, and it's for the wives," he said.

"Thank God this is almost done," Donna said, and then elbowed Fez. "Fez, just because we're married in the game it does NOT give you permission to grab my ass!" Brooke leaned over to Jackie and whispered in her ear "See? Creep-O." Jackie snickered, and Kelso cleared his throat authoritatively.

"Ladies, care to share? Perhaps it's a naughty reminiscence of something you two did in Vegas… In a pool… Late at night…."

"No, Michael, it's nothing like that," Brooke said, coldly.

"Well then stop with the whispering! The last question is as follows: Ladies: What music band would your hubby be able to make whoopee to all night long?" Kelso asked.

"Oh God, is that even the question or did you 'embellish' is?" Donna asked, reaching for it, and Kelso swatted her hand away.

"No touching the cards! Just answer the question!"

"I bet it's just 'Who's your hubby's favorite band?'," Hyde said.

"It's essentially the same thing!" Kelso snapped. "Just write down your answers."

Hyde looked at Sam, who looked deep in thought. Come on, anyone could get this one, he thought. This was cake. This was obvious. Fod God's sake, he was wearing a Zeppelin tee shirt!

"Time is up!" Kelso said. "We'll start with Team Pinciotti. Donna, what did you put down?" Donna scowled, and overturned an empty board. "GUH-!?"

"I abstained!" Donna announced. "That question was too creepy for me to answer, so I abstained."

"You're no fun!" Fez said, full sulk mode. "For the record I said Petula Clark."

"That's ridiculous," Donna griped.

"Well you're still ahead of Team Hyde," Kelso said. "Speaking of, Sam, what did you put?" We have this, Hyde thought, now fully invested in the game. You know this, Sam, everyone knows I like Zep. The freakin' Paper Boy knows I like Zep and I'm not married to him. Even if we don't win, if we could just make the point that my Vegas Spouse is just as good as Jackie's Vegas Spouse, then-.

"The B52s 'Rock Lobster'," Sam said, tossing her hair.

"What the HELL?! It's Zeppelin! Zeppelin!! ZEPPELIN!!! I don't even listen to The B52s!" he shouted.

"Well maybe you should!" Sam yelled back, and everyone but Jackie sank into their seats in an uncomfortable fashion.

"…. Jude's music is The Beatles," Jackie announced, and Jude showed his matching answer. "We won!"

"Told ya we could take them."

"How do you make whoopee to The Beatles anyway?" Sam huffed.

"Romance," Jude said. "It's all about the romance."

"He's a very romantic person too," Jackie said, nudging him in a teasing fashion that was purely platonic but easily misconstrued. "When Brooke and I saw his show, he totally sang 'The Long and Winding Road'. It was so beautiful."

"You just say that because he was singing it to you," Brooke said, sitting on the other side of Jude. "It was so romantic, you guys."

"That's probably why I married you in a drunken stupor, you jerk," Jackie said, and Jude shoved her playfully.

"That's it, I have to take care of some stuff at the store," Hyde muttered. "Good game, glad to know that you and Ringo here know more stupid shit about each other than me and Sam do." With that, he stalked out of the basement. Jackie scowled, and followed him.

"Where is SHE going?" Sam asked.

"Cool your jets, Sam," Brooke stated.

Jackie followed Hyde outside, and though he knew she was there he ignored her sneakers hitting the pavement. Since she knew he was ignoring her, she grabbed the first thing she saw, which was a football, and threw it at his back, which it hit squarely. He yelped, and turned around.

"What the hell was that for?!" he demanded.

"It was for you being a complete asshole to Jude!"

"Oh as if you've never been an asshole to Sam before!"

"Oh but there is a difference in this case, Steven!" she exclaimed, fury radiating from her eyes and directed solely at him. "In YOUR case, you and I were still dating!!! You and I were in a relationship! You married her when you were supposedly in love with me!"

"Would you please spare me-?"

"No! I will NOT spare you! You have no right to be a jerk to Jude because you gave up your jerkiness privileges when it came to my life when you committed your heart and soul to that brainless mannequin in there!" she shrieked, pointing at him. "You are such an incredible lout, and I can't believe that you are JEALOUS!"

"Hang on a minute, I'm NOT jealous, I don't care-!"

"Oh yes you do, you're SO jealous of my happiness. You can't stand seeing me happy because the only way you can be happy these days is if I'm miserable. That's how it always is. If the person who hurt you is unhappy, you're ecstatic!" she snarled. "Well I'm done being unhappy, Steven!"

"Why, because of HIM?"

"Not in the way you think, but yes! Because of Jude and Brooke I am the happiest I've been since you and I were together," she stated. "You don't have the right to take that away from me. Because you've done enough." With that, she turned on her heel and walked back into the house. Hyde seethed, hopped in the El Camino, and drove off in a rage.

Back in the basement, Brooke stood as Jackie walked back inside. She had calmed down a lot, as she was good at reeling in her emotions when she knew she really needed to, but she was clearly irritated still.

"Sorry," was all she said.

In the silence, Kelso had scooted over to Brooke.

"…. Brooke, you wanna go out to dinner?" he asked, abruptly. Now there was a NEW scandal in the basement. Everyone looked at Brooke, who was turning a bright cherry red.

"… Michael, I don't think that this is the right-."

"Come on, Brooke, I just want to catch up with you, and Betsy," he said. "And I know that you could use a night on the town."

"I just got back from Las Vegas," she said.

"So a night on the Point Place town!" he clarified, grasping for straws. "So what do you say?" Brooke sighed. She didn't want to reject him in front of his friends, and she wondered if that was his ploy in the first place. Even if it was, she couldn't' do it. She clearly had troubles saying no to this man.

"… Okay," she said. "But dinner. That's it."

"Of course," he said, and then winked at Fez and gave an 'a okay' sign. Brooke sighed, and Jackie rolled her eyes.

"Well this was fun, but it's getting to be the afternoon and I wanted to show Jude the outskirts of town. Wisconsin Wilderness and all," Jackie said. "Brooke, do you want a ride back to my place?"

"Yes, yes I would," she said. "Michael, you can pick me up there at six o clock."

"Okay!" he agreed, and Brooke followed Jackie and Jude out. "I won't be late! And who knows? Maybe I'll have a gift for you."

"I doubt it," Donna said, and Kelso shot her a 'how did you know?' kind of look.


	7. Breakdown on Paradise Blvd

A/N: Hey guys. It's really warm in the land of 10,000 lakes today (84 in October?? What the HELL???), so I delayed going into my office and putting this up as it's the hottest room in my apartment. But it's here now and I hope it was worth the wait. Hopefully this will go over okay, I know I focus mainly on Jackie in this story, but she's my girl, and I promise there will be some badass JH action in the next chapter. Reviews aren't required but I do enjoy them!

Disclaimer: I don't own THAT 70S SHOW nor FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS.

* * *

"I don't know why I even agreed to this!" Brooke exclaimed, sorting through her clothes. "I have nothing to wear that would be appropriate! I packed for Vegas for God's sake!"

"Well what about this pink skirt and white blouse?" Jackie asked, pulling it from the suitcase. "The skirt is cute-."

"But the blouse is really low cut, I don't want Michael getting the wrong idea."

"Well we'll ask Jude," Jackie said. "Jude. Pink skirt and white blouse?" Jude, who was sitting on the floor, looked up from his book and nodded.

"Yeah, great, stunning."

"That hardly counts!" Brooke exclaimed. "This is too difficult."

"Don't give up!" Jackie chided.

"Maybe I should wear this black one," Brooke said, holding it up. "What do you think?"

"It looks like something you'd wear to a funeral!" Jackie exclaimed. "You don't want to look like you're in mourning!"

"Maybe he won't hit on me if I do!"

"Psh, you must be joking."

"… Fair point."

"Just wear the pink and white! You can borrow a coat."

"It's seventy degrees outside."

"Then deal with the blouse!"

"Fine!"

"Okay you two, calm yourselves," Jude said, setting his book down before they killed each other. "Brooke, don't worry about tonight, it's a free dinner. Jackie, stop micromanaging."

"I'm not micromanaging, I'm helping!"

"Fine, I'll wear it. I'm going to get changed," Brooke said, taking the clothes to the bathroom and leaving Jackie and Jude alone. Jackie sighed, and hugged herself.

"Am I really being micromanaging?"

"Yes."

"Well I just want things to work out for Brooke and Michael since they didn't work out for me and Steven! Why should Brooke be bummed? And besides, it's my fault she has to stick around, so I'm trying to make up for it."

"I know."

"God, wasn't Sam awful today?"

"She is an idiot."

"I couldn't believe how little they knew about each other!"

"Well that game was pretty stupid, we just knew that stuff about each other because we're intuitive," Jude said. She nodded. "But then… You knew every answer about Hyde, didn't you?" She nodded again, slower this time, and sadder. He rubbed her back, and she sighed mournfully.

"Do you know what we're going to do while Brooke's out on the town?" he asked.

"What?"

"Smoke some weed, listen to 'Abbey Road'."

"We're WHAT?"

"It'll put a smile on your face, I guarantee that."

"I'm skeptical."

"Come on. Listening to 'Octopus's Garden' while stoned is something you want to do before you die."

* * *

Brooke and Kelso were eating dinner in silence, both searching for something to say but unable to find it. She was staring at her salad, wishing she'd ordered the chicken, and he was trying to eat peas with a knife.

"Why don't you try your fork?" she asked.

"Because everyone knows you eat peas with a knife," he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "How's the salad?"

"It's fine."

"I'd have ordered chicken."

"You know, that's what I was thinking, actually," she said, and smiled a little bit. He smiled too, and began to use the fork, because she'd suggested it and she was usually right about these things.

"Does Betsy miss me?" he asked. She nodded.

"Yeah," Brooke said. "I mean, I don't know if she understands the concept of you returning or not, but she definitely notices. If I drop something and it makes a big noise, she starts looking around for you."

"Well, she knows that loud noises follow me," he said, and she giggled. "… I'm thinking of moving out to Chicago, actually."

"Yeah?" she asked, eating some salad. "I'm sure she'd love that." He nodded.

"And… what would you think of it?" he asked. She chewed slowly, pretending that if she chewed enough he'd drop the point. But she knew he wouldn't. If there was one thing Michael Kelso was, it was persistent.

"I think it would be nice," she said. It was vague enough that it couldn't be interpreted in any way. "I really would, Michael. You know that, right?"

"…. Yeah Brooke," he said. "… I now I messed up pretty bad, and-."

"Stop," she said, holding up a hand. "I had no expectations for you to live up to, so don't beat yourself up over the fact we didn't work out, okay? You're always going to be a large part of my life because you're Betsy's father, but we're obviously better as that and that alone."

"I don't agree," Kelso said. "Had it not been for that other thing, we wouldn't have Betsy in the first place. I know that we can be more, and I know I want to be more. I mean DAMN Brooke, we're both really hot people first of all! It would be a crime NOT for us to get together!"

"See, there you go again," she said, angrily. "Making stupid ass comments like that! If I wasn't hot you never would have pursued me in the first place, there's nothing else but that in your eyes! It's how it always is!"

"What do you mean?" he asked, not angry, simply confused.

"Once the women in your life show a little more dimension than just a pretty face and smoking body, you lose interest! It happened with Jackie and it happened with me! You're too superficial to be in a real relationship, and I'm not putting our daughter through that!" She set her fork down in frustration and anger, angry that he'd strung her along, angry that she'd believed he wouldn't do it in the first place, and REALLY angry that he had no idea why she was so hesitant and upset.

"Brooke, if we were closer together-."

"Another Angie would come along," Brooke snapped.

"Is that what this is about? Angie?"

"It's part of it. But it's mostly the fact that I am so mad at myself for still having feelings for you, for watching you and listening to you and thinking 'oh he's so sweet', or 'oh he's so adorable'! I know I shouldn't let you do that to my anymore!"

"Why not?" he asked, taking her hand. "Why is it bad that you still feel something for me when I feel something for you too?"

"Because!" she exclaimed, tears beginning to fall down her face. "Because I don't want you to hurt me again! And I don't want you to hurt Betsy ever! I just want to be over you and not see you whenever I look at our daughter's beautiful beautiful face!... I have to go, Michael."

"Brooke, wait-." But she was already up and out the door.

* * *

Jackie and Jude were sitting on the back patio at her Mother's house, listening to 'Abbey Road' and looking up at the summer evening sky.

"I hope that Brooke's uncle gets back early tomorrow," Jackie said.

"Yeah," he answered, taking a hit off the pot cigarette they were sharing. "I'm ready to get rid of the ol' ball and chain." She hit him as she took the doobie from his fingers.

"The sky is so freakin' crazy," she said. "I mean, what if our galaxy is just a small cell on some bigger creature? Did you ever think about that?"

"Only when I'm high," he said, and coughed the smoke from his lungs. "That would be pretty crazy though."

"Wouldn't it?" she asked.

"So I meant to ask you: you and Hyde had a fight."

"Oh whatever, he totally deserved the yelling I gave him," Jackie said. "He was being such a baby!"

"Well can you blame him? I mean, I DID steal you from him and now you're MADLY in love with me."

"Oh sure."

"You can keep denying it but soon you'll realize that my wiles are just too irresistible."

"I think I may have been a little harsh with Steven today, looking back," Jackie said.

"Just cuz you're buzzed and are still in love with him."

"Yeah, that probably has a lot to do with it."

"So apologize."

"I don't want to. But I would like to talk some things out with him," she said. "I just don't know how to."

"Well let's practice then," he said. "You can practice on me."

"Whaaaaat?"

"You'll practice what you want to say," he clarified. "You be you, I'll be Hyde."

"You're stupid."

"No I'm not, it's practice so you'll feel prepared!"

"But you have no idea how he'll react to what I have to say!"

"It doesn't matter, just go ahead."

"… Yeah, fine, okay," she said, and sat up on the blanket. She took in a deep breath. "Steven, we need to talk."

"Whaddaya wanna talk about, SugarLips?" he asked, trying to midwesternize his already confused accent.

" 'SugarLips'?!" she shrieked, laughing. "He'd NEVER call me that!"

"Fine fine. Whaddaya wanna talk about, Faerie Sprite of My Dreams?"

"I'm done, this isn't working," she said, running a hand through her hair.

"Can I call you that if he doesn't?"

"You are such a flirt."

"If I recall you came on to me."

"Lies! You serenaded me!" she laughed, and he sat up too, holding up his hands in defense.

"Let's not concern ourselves with the details, it's all so muddled we can't be sure of anything."

The phone rang from inside the house. Jackie stood up, swatted him on the head lightly, and trotted into the house to answer the phone. Jude took another hit, and hummed into the night sky.

Jackie picked up the phone.

"Hellooooo?"

"It's Brooke, could you please come and get me?"

"Brooke? What happened?"

"I ended the date early, I'm at The Hub," she said, her voice wavering a little bit. "Could you or Jude please come get me?"

"Sweetie, what did Michael do?"

"He didn't do anything, it was just too hard," Brooke said, weeping now. "Please come get me!"

"Okay, okay we're on our way, don't worry," Jackie said, her buzz quickly wearing off. "We'll be there in a little bit."

"Thank you."

"See you soon." She hung up, and opened the door to the back patio. "Juuuude! We have to go pick up Brooke!"

"What a crummy date! Done already?"

"Michael probably put his foot in his mouth again and now she's really upset," Jackie said, fiddling with her sandals. "Oh my God, we should NOT be driving right now."

"Calm down, I'm not that buzzed."

"I'm not either."

"Jackie, you've been staring at that sandal in your hand the whole time we've been talking," Jude said, and she looked at him, with a look as if she were trying to decipher a code.

"I was?"

"…I'll drive."

* * *

Brooke hung up the pay phone and rested her head against it. She then rifled through her pocket, and shoved more coins into the phone. She dialed, and waited.

"…. Hi Mom…. Yeah, things are working out, I'm still waiting to hear from Uncle Jeffrey… I'm find, do I sound upset?... Well, I'm not… Look, can I talk to Betsy, just briefly?... I know she doesn't understand, I just want to…Yes, I'm gonna come home soon, Mom, I promise…. Thank you…… Hi baby! It's Mommy sweetie. I know you don't understand me, but I just wanted to hear you. I'll be home soon, I promise. I love you, honey. Have a good night, Betsy…. Bye bye." Brooke wiped her eyes with her arm, aching for her child. She straightened back up when she heard her mother's voice again. "Yeah Mom…. I'll call you tomorrow with more information…. Love you too, Mom… Bye." She hung up the pay phone, and composed herself as best she could before sitting down to wait for Jackie and Jude.

At that moment, an unfamiliar face to Brooke but familiar to other members of the group walked into the Hub. Sarah, the doe eyed ex disc jockey turned bakery worker, walked up to the counter, guitar case strapped to her back. She hit the counter a couple of times to get the attention of the soda jerker.

"Hey dude, can I get a cheeseburger to go?" she asked, fishing through her bag for her wallet.

"Maybe if you're a little more polite about it," he said, and she rolled her eyes.

"Look, I'm in a hurry, I'm sorry if my quirky neuroses involving time is making you cry a little on the inside," she said, snarkily, "but I need to get this food and then over to my job. At the Psych Ward"

"Are you for real?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm for freakin' real!" she snapped. He shook his head, and smiled at her cruelly.

"It'll be ten minutes on your burger," he said. She glared, and sat at the table across from Brooke, who was staring at the floor. "Hey you. Are going to order something?" Brooke looked up, her eyes puffy.

"Me? Oh, I… I'm just waiting for someone to pick me up-."

"No loitering."

"But I need a ride and-."

"NO. LOITERING."

"Hey, dude, I bought something and she's with me," Sarah said. Brooke looked at the strange girl with the long brown hair and big brown eyes, and Sarah patted the chair across from her. "C'mere." Brooke nodded, and sat at the table with her.

"Thank you," Brooke said, wiping her eye on her arm.

"Are you okay?" Sarah asked, concerned.

"Yeah, just a bad date, that's all," Brooke stated, softly. Sarah nodded sympathetically.

"That sucks," she said. "Bad dates can really take it out of you. At least you never have to see the loser again."

"Well he's my daughter's Dad, so I kind of have to…"

"Oh…. Well, at least he's not a complete psycho…. Did I get that one right at least?" Brooke chuckled, and nodded.

"Just totally clueless," Brooke said. "… I'm Brooke."

"Sarah," Sarah said, extending her hand.

"… Did I hear you say you worked at the Psych Ward?"

"At the hospital, yeah," Sarah said. "I'm not a psychologist or anything, I go in and play music for them."

"That sounds so rewarding," Brooke said.

"My Mom said that I'm in a 'quack profession' distributing 'more quack treatments'," Sarah said. "Whatever. I love music. It's a nice distraction from working at her bakery. AND it's infinitely better than my job at the radio station. Stupid jerks."

"What happened?" Brooke asked, feeling a little better now that this girl was commiserating with her.

"They fired me because I aired George Carlin's 'Things You Can't Say on TV' or whatever," Sarah said. "I was told it was what I was supposed to play! I thought it was an ironic title. Anyway, I was fired… For being a total idiot."

"I'm sorry," Brooke said.

"Hey, cheeseburger girl!" the soda jerker said. Sarah stood, very excited about her dinner.

"Yes! That's me!"

"Ten more minutes!"

"Fuckers," she muttered, sitting back down.

"Isn't it a little late to be doing therapy?" Brooke asked. "I mean, it's what? Almost eight?"

"I start at eight, which is why I need my CHEESEBURGER!" she called over her shoulder. The man ignored her.

Jackie and Jude walked in at that point. Jackie ran to Brooke, and threw her arms around her.

"What did he do to you and with what weapon shall I kill him?!" she demanded, and Brooke smiled.

"I'm feeling better, Jackie," Brooke said. "Hey Jude." He smiled, and waved at her kindly. Sarah looked him up and down, and then smiled.

"Well if it isn't Cinnamon," she said, and he smiled back. "I didn't think I'd run into you again so soon."

"Cinnamon?" Jackie asked Jude, and he ignored her.

"The real name is Jude," he said, and they shook hands.

"And I'm Sarah."

"Jackie, have you met Sarah?" Brooke asked. Jackie and Sarah looked at each other, and Sarah's eyes narrowed.

"Wait a minute," Sarah said. "Aren't you friends with Hot Donna?"

"… Yeaah…?" Sarah stood up, fuming.

"You can tell Hot Donna that she can take her radio station and bad dye job and go to hell!" Sarah snapped, pointing at Jackie, who stared at her wide eyed.

"Oh my God, hold on a second, who are you?" Jackie asked, and then recognized her. "Oh! You're that girl who used to work with Donna but then she got you fired!"

"I knew it!" Sarah exclaimed, hopping up in triumph. "I KNEW she set me up! Just because I'd do what she refused to do, like some freakin' diva, acting like she's hot shit and all that!"

"I didn't know that-," Jackie began.

"Spare me! I don't associate with people who associate with Donna Pinciotti, so save your breath!" Sarah ranted. "Her and her friends, including you, can bite my ass!"

"…I'm sorry, I'm lost," Brooke said.

"You and me both, sweetie," Jude said.

"Hey, cheeseburger girl!" the soda jerker said.

"Ready?" Sarah asked, turning eagerly.

"The cheese burned."

"COCKSUCKERS!" Sarah exclaimed. "Forget it, keep your burger, I gotta get going or I'll miss the bus."

"You mean the bus that just drove up the street?" Jude asked, and Sarah moaned.

"Probably…. Great. What a night. Just perfect."

"…. We could drive you," Brooke offered. Sarah shifted on her feet, weighing the options in her head. "That way you won't be late…"

"…. Yeah okay," Sarah said. "…. And…. Jackie is it?"

"Yes."

"… You don't have to bite my ass… Cuz you seem cool."

"…. Thank you." Jude smiled at Sarah, and she smiled back. Jackie and Brooke noticed the way they were smiling at each other, and exchanged knowing glances.

"Brooke, you come with me to the bathroom and tell me about your date, we'll let Jude and Sarah wait for her burger," Jackie said, and Brooke nodded.

Once inside, Jackie turned to Brooke.

"So it wasn't good, huh?"

"No."

"And you miss Betsy, don't you?"

"Yes."

"… You want to go home, don't you?"

"….. Yes." Jackie, sighed, and nodded.

"You should go home, Brooke."

"No, Jackie, I said that I would stay here until it was all-."

"Your uncle called the house tonight, he said that he would help me and Jude, you don't have to stay any more," Jackie said, holding up her hands. "The old me would have insisted that you stay, but I'm changing, Brooke. I'm a complicated woman, remember?"

"… I do remember," Brooke said, smiling. "Okay. As long as you're sure you're okay-."

"I'm great, I have Jude here still, don't I?" Jackie asked. "You need to get home to your daughter."

"Yeah…."

"…. What should I tell Michael?"

"….. I'll have to think about that." Jackie nodded, and they hugged. "I know that you think that you owe me for going to Vegas with you, but I owe you too."

"For what?" Jackie asked, and Brooke smiled sadly.  
"For our friendship." Jackie smiled, and Brooke rolled her eyes a little. "As cheesy as that sounds."

"I love cheese!" Jackie said, and Brooke laughed. "Okay, we should get Sarah to her job." Brooke nodded, and they walked out of the bathroom. Sarah was eating her burger, laughing with Jude.

"I want to play matchmaker!" Jackie said.

"It would be in bad taste if you tried to set up your husband, don't you think?"

"Please."


	8. No Way to Cope With It

A/N: Finally, some JH interaction, am I right? Enjoy! And as always, reviews are not required but I do like them…

Disclaimer: I don't own 70S SHOW nor FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS

Dreams are funny things. No one really knows for sure what they mean. Some people believe they are simply a way for the brain to entertain itself while the rest of the body takes a breather. Others believe they are simply random brain functioning. And there are still others who believe that dreams hold meanings to questions we haven't had the guts to really ask.

Brooke was on the couch at Uncle Logan's. She was sleeping, tossing, and turning, for her dreams were questions. Questions about Michael, about Betsy, about her future.

Jude was on the Burkhart pullout, also dreaming. He was dreaming about the life he'd been striving for but couldn't achieve. His dreams were chidings, full of self doubt. It was at night that he disliked himself the most. But along with all that, faces filled his mind too. Brooke, Jackie. Sarah….

Jackie was staring at the ceiling, not sleeping at all. Sleep was something she couldn't do when her mind was so full of thoughts and regrets. On one hand she wished she had never gone to Vegas, but on the other she was so happy to be making friends outside the group she'd known since she was a fifteen year old. Change was something that was scary, but necessary.

And across town, Hyde wasn't sleeping soundly either. His sleep was actually fitful, because his dreams weren't just whispers of doubt. They were telling a story.

He was on the set of the Newlywed game, and he was wearing a tacky leisure suit, as that seemed to be the uniform. He looked to his right, and Sam was sitting there, wearking something right of a Nancy Sinatra record sleeve. In the competitor's seats were Jackie and Jude. Everyone was smiling, their lips turned up into saccharine grins.

"I'm Bob Eubanks and welcome back to The Newlywed Game! There are two questions left, but first, let's look at the scores! Jackie and Jude are ahead by twenty points!" The invisible audience clapped, and Jackie and Jude kissed chastely. "So let's continue with the game! This is a question for the wives. Ladies: How does your hubby take his coffee?"

"Oh, I know this!" Sam chirped, and began to scribble furiously. Hyde wrote out his answer of 'black', and saw Jackie and Jude were making out furiously.

"Bob! They can't do that! This is a family show!" he protested, and Bob looked at the kissing couple.

"But they're so darn cute, aren't they folks?" The audience 'awww'ed in agreement as Jude began to straddle her. "Time is up! I hate to interrupt you two kids, but Jackie, I need your answer." She wiped her lips on the back of her hand, embarrassed but not THAT embarrassed, and showed her card, which matched, of course.

"That's correct! Two sugars!" Bob said, and Jackie and Jude began making out again. "And Sam, what did you say?" Sam held up her card. It said 'tea'.

"Tea?!" Hyde exclaimed. "Not only do I take my coffee black, but TEA ISN'T COFFEE!"

"Well I didn't understand the question!"

"Alright husbands, the final question is yours. This question will determine the winner of the game. Where does your wife like to make whoopee the most?" Hyde snorted, and wrote down something random, figuring she was so easy his chances of getting it right were pretty good. "Team Duke?

"My Jacqueline likes to make love on a feather bed by candlelight, atop rose petals," Jude said, and Hyde clapped his hands once. That was wrong! Jackie sighed.

"That's incorrect," she said, sadly, and the audience gasped.

"Ha!" Hyde laughed. "Jackie doesn't care where or how you do it, as long as it's with me!... I mean, the guy she loves!"

"He's right," Jackie said, and then smiled at Jude. "As long as it's with you." They began making out furiously once more, and Hyde was sure steam was about to shoot from his ears.

"Well Hyde, if you get this right, you will win not only the game, but the satisfaction that you didn't make the biggest mistake of your life. What's your answer?" Bob asked.

"Sam likes to screw in hot tubs."

"You mean 'make whoopee'."

"Make whoopee, screw, fuck, who cares?! We win!"

"No we don't!" Sam whined.

"What?!"

"Oh, Hyde, I'm sorry," Bob said, fake sympathy oozing, "but she didn't say hot tubs. She said 'anywhere and everywhere'." Jackie pried herself reluctantly from Jude's lips to say

"It's because she's a VD ridden nympho, Bob."

"She sure is, Jackie. Team Duke wins the vacation! Not only because they're just precious, but because unlike Team Hyde, they actually know something about each other!"

Hyde sat up abruptly, crying out. He looked around. He was back at home, in bed, with a groggy Sam looking at him like he was insane.

"Baby, what's wrong?!" she said, irritated she'd been awakened.

"How do I like my coffee?" he asked, grabbing her shoulders.

"What?"

"How do I like my coffee?!"

"What kind of stupid question is-?"

"You don't know, do you?!"

"Baby, of course I do," she said, smiling reassuringly.

"… Of course you do," he said. "I mean, it's something so basic about a person, how could you not know?"

"Yeah," she said. "Everyone knows you drink your coffee with whiskey."

"What?! No I don't!" he said, and leapt out of bed, beginning to pace.

"… With cream then?"

"No, black!"

"…. Nuh uh."

"Uh, YAH-HUH!"

"…. Well who cares if I don't know that? It's just coffee!"

"But it's not about the coffee, Sam! I don't know anything about you, you don't know anything about me, and yet we're supposed to spend the rest of our lives together!"

"So we spend our lives learning! It's romantic!"

"It's Victorian!"

"It is not, Victorians didn't have as much sex as us," she said, throwing the covers off herself in frustration. "Don't you like having sex with me?"

How to answer, he wondered. He liked sex, sure. Who didn't? But these days while in the throes of passion, he didn't think about who it was with. With Sam, sex was mechanics. Just libidinal tensions being released, and usually not well. When he didn't answer, Sam grabbed his arm.

"Now you listen to me," she said, voice low. "I know that I'm not your little cheerleader-."

"It's not about-."

"-But difference isn't a bad thing, Steven Hyde. I'm not her, but that means I'm not lying or manipulative or immature. What I am is a girl who is very attracted to you, who is not only a blonde with legs to ya ya, but a fantastic lover to boot. I may not know how you like your coffee, or your favorite band, but I DO know how to turn you on, and that should be enough, dammit. You don't like complicated girls, remember?" With that, she brushed her hand dangerously close to his crotch.

"Hey, don't, I'm not in the mood," Hyde said, without emotion. He climbed back in bed, and Sam stood there for a moment. She then followed suit. As Hyde tried to fall into sleep, a fleeting thought wriggled it's way to the surface of his psyche.

Jackie knows how I like my coffee.

He sat up, and grabbed some pants and a shirt.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked.

"For a drive."

* * *

Jackie was just about asleep when she heard something scratching at the side of the house. Right outside her window. She sat up, and saw a shadow in the window. She gasped, and reached under her bed for a suitable weapon. She settled on her old baton from junior high, and held it to her chest, ready to hit the intruder. The window opened, and she leapt out of bed, swinging the baton and shrieking.

"JESUS, JACKIE!" the familiar voice said, and she felt her body relax a little bit. It was just Hyde. "It's me, don't beat me to death with that stupid sparkly baton!" Relief was soon replaced with anger and irritation.

"Excuse me, Steven, what do you think you're doing?" Jackie hissed, climbing back under the covers as he climbed through the window. "You gave up window climbing privileges when you dumped me!"

"I needed to talk to you," he said, standing up from the floor.

"You couldn't call?"

"It has to be face to face."

"You couldn't wait until tomorrow?"

"No," he said, sitting in the chair at her desk. "Where's Jude?"

"He's on the couch," she said, miffed. "We're not a couple in spirit, remember? If this is about him, I swear to God-."

"No, it's about us."

"Okay, there's no 'us' anymore, Steven."

"But we're still kind of friends-."

"No! We aren't!" she snapped, crossing her arms across her nightgown clad chest. "You are no friend of mine, Steven Hyde. We may have the same friends, but I'm not a friend of yours. Not now and not ever again!"

"Well that may be, but you need to hear me out for a moment," he said. When she didn't say anything, he saw that as permission to continue. "I've been doing a lot of thinking tonight, and last night. When you came home with Jude, I was pissed-."

"Well now you know how it feels, don't you?"

"Would you shut up and let me-."

"Don't tell me to shut up!" she snarled, trying to keep her voice down lest her mother wake up.

"Fine! Just listen!" Hyde hissed back. "I know I deserve whatever I get when it comes to you and your choices, and I know that I shouldn't get jealous, but dammit, I am."

"Why?" she asked, the blanket falling from her a little bit. "Not only is Jude soon to be just a friend, but you have a wife of your own! You can't decide you're jealous when I move on, Steven! It's NOT FAIR." He stood up from the desk, and sat at the end of the bed.

"I know! You think I don't know that?" he asked. "I told myself I just wanted you to move on, but when I saw you with Jude, thinking of what you two did in Vegas together, thinking of his hands on you, I wanted to kill him!"

"Well get over it."

"… I know I hurt you, Jackie, but I'm trying here," Hyde said, losing his patience for her petulance.

"Do you really think that I'm going to forgive you for being a jealous prick?"

"Okay, whatever," Hyde said, standing up and going for the window. "I don't have to listen to this, I don't deserve this."

"Well then what do you deserve?" she asked, and he stopped his beeline for the window and his freedom from her pain. "When someone throws away three years of a relationship with the drop of a hat, when he turns his lover's life upside down, when he steals a part of her by letting her go.. what does he deserve?" He sighed, hearing the agony in her voice, the agony he'd avoided and fought away by being cruel and distant.

"… I don't know, Jackie."

"Clearly."

"I just wanted someone who wouldn't hurt me!" he snapped, turning around.

"And I never meant to hurt you, Steven!" she cried, standing up from the bed. "But I never knew what you wanted from me because you would just push me away at the first sign of a problem!"

"When I opened up you crushed me!" he exclaimed, putting his hands to his head. "I came to Chicago to get you and you were with KELSO!"

"Nothing happened with Michael! You never believe me when I say that!"

"You never gave me reason to believe you!"

"I never gave you reason to not believe me either!" she exclaimed.

"He was in a towel, Jackie!"

"Nothing happened! And you and me? We weren't even together!" she exclaimed, feeling the tears beginning again. God I'm sick of crying, she thought. "You told me to 'have a nice trip'! You basically told me to go!"

"I came to propose!"

"Because you decided to open up when it was too late! It was too late, Steven! You can't shove me away and then expect closeness! You can't tell me to leave and then decide you want to marry me!" she explained, tears rolling down her cheeks. "It sends so many awful signals! I know you said that I was confusing, but you were just as confusing as I was!"

"I fucked up! I'm admitting that! I'm sorry!" Hyde stated almost frantically.

"Only because of Jude!"

"No, it's not because of Jude…. Entirely."

"Ugh, get out!"

"It's because I still love you!" he snapped, grabbing her shoulders in a desperate attempt to make her see.

"… You love what you can't have." His hands dropped to his side, as the words stung him.

"That's not true."

"They why didn't you tell Sam you wanted a divorce?" she demanded. "You could have had me then but you said you DIDN'T WANT ME!"

"I was angry! I wanted to hurt you!"

"Well you did."

They were silent as the breeze blew through her window, making the curtains dance blithely. He put a hand to her face. She wouldn't look at him, trying to be strong, but cracking. These feelings don't just disappear, they both knew that. She put her hand on his, and he cupped the back of her head with his other hand, guiding her forehead to his. She let a breath out, pulled one in, and closed her eyes as they began to kiss, tentative at first, but then harder and with more desperation. He ran his hand through her long silky hair (how he missed that hair in his fingers), and pulled her closer to him, almost crushing her but knowing it took a lot more than this to hurt her. He moved his kisses down her neck, and she gasped and savored the feeling of his lips on her skin. He unbuttoned the white buttons of her nightgown, and she slipped it back across her shoulders as she wrapped her arms around him. He lifted her up, pinning her against the closet door, kissing her shoulders, her chest, taking her all in and her letting him do it. It was just like the old days, when it was just fun, when it was just the two of them, without complication, without doubt, without jealousy and certainly without Vegas Spouses. It was just the two of them, attempting to become one once more.

Afterwards, they laid in the bed, quiet, listening to the breeze outside the window. She turned over, and he stared at the ceiling.

"…. Jackie…."

"….. You should go. Before Sam wakes up and wonders where you went." He hated hearing it, but it wasn't unexpected. Jackie wasn't going to be anyone's mistress, and she wasn't going to let him have his cake and eat it too. So he got up, got dressed, and climbed out the window. She held her pillow, and felt more tears falling down her face as she fell into sleep.


	9. Getting Down to Business

A/N: Well we finally got some JH action and y'all seemed to like it! And of course it needed the angst. I mean, they're both technically with other people. So now the couples who should be together will start gravitating towards each other, I would hope. Enjoy! Reviews aren't required but I like hearing what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't own 70S SHOW nor FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS.

* * *

Jackie woke up to Brooke standing over her bed.

"OhmiGOD!" she exclaimed, sitting up. "Brooke, don't scare me like-!"

"Sorry! I didn't mean to. But I wanted to say goodbye before I left."

"Yeah, I know," Jackie said. "Let me put on some clothes and I'll walk you to your car… How did you get in here, anyway?"

"Your Mom left her keys in the door."

"God."

"… What is going on?" Brooke asked.

"…. Nothing."

"You seem extra mopey and stuff," Brooke said. "…. Are those Hyde's sunglasses?" Jackie's eyes flew to the floor, and she gasped. "Oh my GOD! You broke your wedding vows!"

"Oh shut up, Brooke, we both know that's not a problem on MY side!" Jackie exclaimed. "Yes, Steven came over last night, UNINVITED and UNEXPECTED, and one thing led to another and we slept together!"

"Well that's great!"

"No it isn't! If you forget we're both married to other people!"

"Your marriage to Jude is a joke, he'll be first to congratulate you on your tryst and you know it," Brooke said, and Jackie smiled a little bit. "Because he's the best husband ever, apparently."

"Well there's the matter of Sam."

"Screw her!"

"This is a side of you I'm not used to seeing."

"I say that you have every right to lead Hyde astray."

"I don't want to be the mistress," Jackie said, glumly. "Steven can't be married to her and have me too. It's not that easy and I'm not that pathetic!"

"Well good for you. Is he going to get divorced?"

"It didn't come up," Jackie said. "Maybe. Who knows? I'm the complicated one, remember?"

"Complicated is synonymous with interesting," Brooke stated. "But good for you, standing your ground like that."

"Thanks….. the sex was so good, Brooke. I love him still, and he says he loves me, but… He's said that before."

"If it's meant to be, it'll work out," Brooke said.

"That's a cop out saying."

"I know."

Brooke and Jackie walked down the steps, and Jude sat up on the pullout.

"Where're you two going?" he asked, rubbing his eyes, his hair sticking up.

"I'm going home, Jude," Brooke said, and he tilted his head.

"What, like back to Chicago?" he asked. She nodded. "Oh, well hang on!" He pulled the blanket around him, as he knew Brooke would be embarrassed to see him in nothing but boxers, and walked to the front door as well. "So what should we tell Kelso?"

"Have you thought about it, Brooke?" Jackie asked, turning to Brooke.

"Yes."

" And what should we tell Michael?" Brooke shrugged sadly.

"That I'll see him in a few weeks when he comes to get Betsy," she said. "And that I'm sorry… I really need to get on the road-."

"Okay, you get going," Jackie said, and hugged her tightly. "Thank you so much for everything."

"Of course," Brooke said, and Jude walked to her, attempting to hold the blanket. "Jude, it was so nice meeting you."

"You too, Brooke," he said, and put an arm around her as he held the blanket up with his other hand. "Maybe I'll see you in Vegas again."

"Probably not," she said. "But maybe you'll come to Chicago someday when you're a famous music star." Brooke hugged her friends one more time, and left the house. As Jackie closed the door, she turned to Jude.

"I'm gonna miss her," Jude said.

"I cheated on you last night," Jackie threw back.  
"Oh?"

"Yes. Steven came over. We slept together."

"Does this mean I can cheat on you?"

"Go ahead."

"Does this also mean you and Hyde are back together?"

"Not while you and I are married and he's still with that stripper of his," Jackie said. "And who are you going to cheat on me with?"

"….. No one."

"…. It's Sarah isn't it?" Jackie asked, eyes widening. "Omigod, you two would be SO cute together!"

"You think so?"

"Yes!" He grinned a little bit, and shrugged.

"Could be."

"Does she know we're married?"

"Nah, it never came up."

"You may want to tell her."  
"What's the point? Once Logan gets in contact with us that won't be an issue. It will be moot, if you will."

"Well it may matter to her."

"Well it doesn't really matter since I go back to Las Vegas in a bit," he said. "Oh, could I use your phone? I should call my boss and check in."

"Please do," Jackie said. He nodded, and walked to the kitchen. She strolled to the record player he'd brought and plugged into the wall, switching it on. She danced slowly to the music, trying not to think about the night before. She sat on the pull out, and stared up at the ceiling, Paul McCartney's voice filling her ears. She closed her eyes, sorry that Jude was feeling bad enough that he had been listening to 'Hey Jude' the night before. She knew he hated it back in Vegas, and wondered why he even planned on going back. Of course, it's not that easy. She also stayed in a situation that caused her pain. At least, until recently.

She sat up when she heard angry shouting coming from the kitchen. She got up, and rushed to Jude.

"Yeah well fuck you! I've been nothing but loyal to you and when I have to take some personal time you fuck me over?!... Go to hell!" he snarled, and hung up the phone.

"What happened?"

"I'm fired," Jude said. "They didn't like that I left, and didn't bother to tell me that I had until this morning to come back if I wanted my job to stay in place!"

"What?! That's ridiculous!"

"They gave my room to the new act they have, and my stuff is in storage in North Vegas!" Jude exclaimed, pacing. "I can't believe this. I'm fucked!" He paced the kitchen, and Jackie was going to say something, when the phone rang again. "If that's my ex boss you can tell him to go and, I don't know, DIE or something." She picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Jackie!"

"Hi Kitty."

"Do you and your husband want to come over for brunch?"

"…. What?"

"Brunch, at our place," Kitty said. "I want to get to know him!"

"Kitty, that's not really necessary, I mean, Jude and I are getting divorced, and-."

"Well I know, but he's still family."

"… No he isn't really, because I'm not family, and therefore my soon to be ex husband-."

"No no no, sweetie, you ARE family, and that makes Jude family too. Even if you are getting divorced or annulled or what have you." Jackie looked at Jude, who was hitting his head against the fridge. He could use some good old fashioned Kitty Forman home cookin', she thought.

"Okay, we'll be right there, Kitty," Jackie said. She hung up, and walked to Jude. "Cheer up. We're going to brunch."

"Why?"

"Because you need to indulge in Kitty's food, it's a sure fire way to make you feel better," Jackie said. "Come on, let's get you in some clothes."

"I don't want to go."

"Oh come on," Jackie said. "The cure to anger is being around people who care about you-."

"Dammit Jackie, I don't want to go!" he snapped, and she jumped a little bit. She then put a hand on her hip.

"Look, I know that you're upset, but don't yell at me," Jackie stated. "You didn't even like that job."

"Yeah, but it was a job! I could deal with it as long as I was getting paid!"

"Yeah, because you didn't want to risk trying for something better," Jackie said. "You should look at this, despite your things being, well, in storage, as an opportunity! You can go and try to do something that isn't in Vegas. You HATE Vegas, remember?" He nodded a couple times, and exhaled.

"Sorry for snapping at you."

"You should be! I didn't fire you."

"I don't know if I want to go to breakfast."

"You'd rather sulk around my house all day and fight off my mother's advances?"

"… No."

"Then we're going." He sighed, and nodded. "There will be other jobs, Jude. And hey. You could always stay in Point Place. Find a job here, work at the radio station…Maybe start something with Sarah." He shrugged.

"I'm pretty much at square one right now. So anything's possible."

"Well brunch at the Forman's is the first step."

"Okay, fine, off we go."

"Good. You won't be hermit on my watch."

"I suppose you think I should thank you for that."

"Just get in the car."

* * *

When Jackie and Jude got to the Forman household, they were surprised to see that Kitty had set up a large brunch buffet in the back yard. She was setting out the last of the food, and Red was sitting on the porch scowling at nothing in particular.

"Jackie! Jude! Hello!" Kitty exclaimed, waving. "Oh I'm so happy you two could make it! Red, come and meet Jackie's husband!"

"You kids think that marriage is one big joke, don't you?" Red asked, standing up and walking to Jackie and Jude. "First Steven goes and marries that Barbie Doll and now you come home with your own version of Wayne Newton!"

"Oh Mr. Forman, Jude is classier than that," Jackie said. "And he has an accent."

"John Lennon then!" Red corrected, gruffy.

"Hey, thanks!" Jude said, smiling. "But that makes you Yoko, Jackie."

"It's not the first time someone has called me that but it still hurts, you big jerk," Jackie said, slugging him in the shoulder, playfully. "Mister Forman, Jude and I are fixing this, we're getting divorced."

"Well why?" Red asked. "Divorce is a final option when you don't have any other choices. You shouldn't have gotten yourselves in this mess in the first place but you could at least try to work it out. Consequences."

"No offense, but that's ludicrous," Jackie said, and Jude bit his lip nervously. She was taking on this grouchy and intimidating man. He didn't know she was THAT fearless. "Marriage is something that is important, I agree, but Jude and I didn't mean to get married. And we don't love each other."

"Oh, not even a little bit?" Kitty asked, slightly disappointed. The married couple looked at each other, and then smiled a little bit.

"Well, maybe a little bit," Jude said, and smiled at her, and she knew that her feelings for him were the same way. Purely platonic. But that's love too. She put an arm around his waist.

Lurking behind the screen and listening to the whole conversation was Sam. She smiled gleefully when she heard Jude say that, and slipped back into the house.

"Well do what you two want," Red said. "But you both know you've acted VERY irresponsibly, right?"

"Yes, Mister Forman," they both muttered, looking at the ground.

"Still, at least you aren't fooling yourselves about the situation," Red said.

"Like SOME PEOPLE we know," Kitty said, passive aggressiveness bursting through. "Honestly, I don't see WHY Steven or his wife can't be as realistic about their 'marriage' as you two are-."

"Did I hear my name?" Hyde asked, walking out of the house, Sam clinging to his arm.

"Steven!" Kitty exclaimed, dropping a plate full of sweet rolls in surprise. "Oh darn it! Those were homemade! And they were perfect, I tested one in the kitchen!"

"Kitty, it doesn't matter," Red muttered.

"But they're the dessert part of the brunch! It's breakfast, but served after the meal! Like lunch!" Kitty exclaimed, picking them up. "Maybe they're still good."

"There's grass all over them," Jackie pointed out, and Kitty moaned. "Look, we don't need sweet rolls, Kitty, really."

"Yes we do! It's not brunch without the lunch aspect!"

"Okay, tell you what," Jude said. "I can take Jackie's car and run to town to that bakery to get some."

"Oh, that would be so helpful!" Kitty exclaimed. "Thank you, Jude. I wish that YOU were sticking around as an in-law."

"OH-kay, let's help you gather up those other ones," Jackie exclaimed, because even though it was a barb directed at Sam, the night before indicated that those weren't really needed. "Here are my keys, Jude." Jude took them from her, and poked her in the side when she turned to help Kitty. "Hey! Careful, mister." He grinned, and felt Hyde glaring at him. He sauntered off towards the Camero, and was pretty eager to see Sarah again.

Sam pulled Hyde inside.

"Well they've certainly become cozy," Sam said, hoping to squish any second thoughts or jealousies he was having about Jackie and Jude.

"I guess."

"They're so cute," Sam said. "I mean, I think that they shouldn't get divorced. It's clear that they're totally into each other." Hyde wished he hadn't misplaced his sunglasses, because his eyes were going to deceive him.

"Probably."

"I mean, the way they're so comfortable," Sam said. "It's like you and me, you know?"

"…… I'm going to get some eggs and bacon." With that, he left the kitchen, leaving Sam irritated.

Jackie was serving up some eggs for herself, when Hyde walked up behind her.

"So what is going on between you two?" he hissed, and she jumped.

"What are you talking about?" Jackie asked.

"You two just seemed… cozy."

"Oh not this again."

"I'm sorry, but after last night-."

"I don't see YOU leaping to get a divorce, Steven!" she snapped, and reached into her purse. "So as far as I'm concerned, last night was nothing and it won't happen again unless you take that step! And here!" She threw her sunglasses into his hands. "Next time maybe you shouldn't leave something at the scene of the crime!" She walked off, going to find Kitty to make sure that the sweet roll fiasco wasn't traumatizing, and Hyde fumed, putting on his sunglasses.

Sam had watched the whole thing from the window. She didn't know why Jackie had his glasses, or why Hyde looked so miffed and yet determined, but she didn't like it one bit. So she reached into her pocket, and put on the ring Hyde told her not to wear. He'd tried to hide it, but she found it in the El Camino when she was looking for loose change in the glove compartment. It was time to pull out all the stops and keep those two apart for good.

She skipped outside, and strode up to where Kitty and Jackie were talking, making sure that her hand was quite visible. She turned to make sure that Red and Hyde were at a far enough distance (they were, they were in the garage saying nothing and liking it), and began phase one.

"Kitty, I was so sad to see the sweet rolls drop," Sam said, putting a hand to her cheek so the ring was nice and visible.

"Well Jude is taking care of it and… Is that ring new?" Kitty asked, and Sam smiled snidely as Jackie's face fell a little bit.

"Oh you like it? Steven gave it to me this morning," Sam said. "He'd been waiting for the right time, and he said that today was that day. Isn't it just gorgeous?"

"It looks like it's pinching your finger," Kitty said, and Sam pulled it back. It was probably a size too small, as it was fitted for Jackie.

"No, it's perfect," she said, quickly. "It's so me, don't you think?"

"Is that a diamond?" Jackie asked, sadly.

"It sure is."

"Well then it's not you," Jackie said, full bite in her voice. "You would be a cubic zirconium. You know, flashy but cheap." Kitty held back a laugh, and Jackie walked into the garage to talk to Red. Sam boiled in rage, though somewhat satisfied as her point had been made.

* * *

Jude walked up to the bakery window, and peered through. It was true, Sarah was behind the counter. He grinned, and scurried inside. He stood in line, hopping a little bit. While the day had been generally rotten, losing his job and all, things were looking help. He was going to get by, with help from his friends (well, Jackie anyway) and maybe help from this woman who was helping customers with a reluctant smile on her face. 

Once he got to the counter, her smile became a little more sincere.

"Hey there, Cinnamon," she said. "Or should I call you Jude now?"

"It doesn't matter," he said awkwardly, his suaveness deciding to take a leave of absence. "I guess Jude. Yeah, call me Jude."

"I was planning on it. So what can I do for you today, Jude? Another cinnamon bun?"

"Actually, I'm looking for sweet rolls," he answered.

"How many?"

"About a dozen."

"Hungry fella."

"Huh? Oh no, not all for me, I'm at this brunch thing and there's a sweet roll emergency of sorts."

"Well we don't have that many out front here, but I can get some from the back," she said. She looked over his shoulder. "Here, there's a break in customers, come help me gather them would ya?"

"… Sure!" he said, and followed her.

She handed him a box and climbed onto a stool so she could reach the top of a cart of baked goods.

"Hold out the box for me," she said, and he obliged. She began dropping sweet rolls in it, and he looked up at her. Even though she was just grabbing pastries, to Jude she moved with a certain grace and elegance.

"You want to go out tonight?" he heard himself blurting out, and she looked down at him from atop the stool. "I mean, you don't have to say yes, but-."

"Sure. Where do you want to go?"

"Oh, I don't know…. I don't know anything about this town, so it's up to you."

"Well, The Hub is good. That's where we were last night with Jackie and Brooke."

"Ah, okay," he said. "That seemed like a good place."

"Cool," she said, and continued dropping pastries in the box in a cool and collected manner. Jude hoped he was presenting himself in such a way, but wasn't quite convinced of it. "Well here are the dozen sweet rolls you asked for. I hope you like them."

"I'm sure I will," he said, and she hopped off the stool.

She rang up the desserts, and smiled slyly at him over the counter.

"Want to meet at five thirty?" she asked.

"Sure."

"Cool. Enjoy your brunch."

"Yeah! See you tonight!" He waved as he left the bakery, and hid his grin until he was in the Camaro . He pumped his fists in the air a couple times, and sped back towards the Forman's house.


	10. No Hope of Communication in This Place

A/N: Sorry this was delayed, I had a paper due today that I was working on and I got caught up in another fandom's fanfic, but this is up now. I hope that everyone is enjoying this. And I know that Sam is a real pain in the ass, but she'll be getting her just desserts soon enough. Reviews aren't required but they're very happy.

Disclaimer: I don't own 70S SHOW nor FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS.

* * *

"I made a date," Jude said, after putting the sweet rolls on the table and sitting next to Jackie on the steps.

"Yeah?"

"Yep! I asked Sarah out and she said yes."

"Good."

"We're going to The Hub."

"Uh huh."

"…. Well try and contain your excitement, Jackie, you're making a fool of yourself."

"Sorry, that's great news," Jackie said, smiling at him as best she could.

"… Okay, what's going on?"

"Steven gave Sam a ring this morning," Jackie said.

"Even after last night?"

"Yes."

"…. Huh."  
"I mean, I told him to go back to his wife, and I told him that I wouldn't be with him until I divorced you and unless he divorced her, but that was supposed to be a clue to DIVORCE HER. Not make a bigger commitment to her!"

At that moment, Donna walked up, holding a sweet roll. Jude hadn't realized that she was invited to this thing, but wasn't about to ask questions.

"What are you we talking about?" she asked, and Jackie shut her mouth. She didn't want Donna getting all judgmental on her again.

"I… I have a date," Jude said.

"Wow. That's quick. Not even waiting for the papers to arrive before you start seeing other people?" Donna asked.

"Our marriage is just a piece of paper, Donna," Jackie muttered.

"I'm going out with a girl named Sarah," Jude said. "I think you've met her…"

"Wait a minute," Donna said. "Jackie, is this the Sarah that tried to steal my job?"

"You mean the Sarah you got fired," Jackie stated, standing up. "She's actually pretty cool, Donna, when you give her a chance."

"And you're sticking up for the girl your husband is going on a date with? You two are really confusing," Donna said. "But whatever. To each his own. Jackie, are you okay?"

"Huh?"

"You look a little perturbed."

"I'm not."

"….. Is it because of the ring I saw on Sam's finger?" Donna asked, sitting down on the steps next to her. Though that was only part of it, Jackie nodded. "Well…. I can see how that would suck for you. You should wear that plastic ring on your finger with pride! Just to show them!" Jude smirked, and looked at the plastic ring on his pinky finger.

"Why are we even wearing these stupid things?" he asked, and Jackie shrugged a little, smiling.

"They can be friendship rings now," she stated. "Yeah, that's what I'll do, Donna."

"Hey, where's Brooke?" Donna asked, suddenly realizing Jackie's new bosom buddy was not there, and feeling a little more secure because of it.

"Oh, she had to go home to Chicago," Jackie said.

"Brooke went back to Chicago?" Kelso asked, suddenly popping up with a plate of eggs and sausage. JEEZE, who didn't show up to this thing, Jude wondered, thinking maybe a dozen sweet rolls may not have been enough. Jackie stood up, and nodded sadly. "Well why? Why did she go home?"

"She has a job, she missed your daughter," Jackie listed, as kindly as possible.

"…. And because the date sucked last night?" Kelso asked. When Jackie didn't answer, he put his plate down and walked into the house.

"Poor Kelso," Donna said.

"Poor Brooke," Jackie corrected. "Love sucks." With that, she walked to the back to talk to Kitty, who could always make her smile by complimenting her. This left Donna and Jude, the old best friend and one of those who was replacing her. The silence was awkward, and Jude had no idea how to break it. So he went with

"So you got my would be girlfriend fired, huh?"

"Is that what she told you?"

"Yeah, kind of."

"Well it was more complicated than that."

"Uh huh."

"….. Well it was!"

"Of course."

"So going out with Sarah huh," Donna said, trying to move the conversation in a more positive direction. "Maybe she's better with guys than she is with girls."

"Well I'd hope so," he stated. "But yeah, we're going out."

"I know I said it before, but that's weird. I mean, you're MARRIED."

"Yeah yeah."

"Does she know?"

"Nope."

"You should probably tell her." Jude didn't know where she got off telling him what to do. She probably called this self righteous meddling 'advice'. "I mean, it may not matter to you, but it probably matters to her."

"Thank you Dear Abby," he muttered. "I'll take the nagging from Jackie, but I barely know you."

"You barely know Jackie."

"Yeah, but Jackie and I connect on a level few others do, so she gets a pass."

"Well whatever," Donna said, irritated by that deep connection comment. "All I'm saying is that you should explain the situation to Sarah before she finds out some other way." Jude was basically ignoring her, and didn't notice a certain other blonde listening to the conversation while she stood behind them.

"Oops, 'scuse me," Sam said, stepping between them as if she was just trying to get through.

"Scused," Jude answered, and she smiled at him, cunningly. "What?"

"Nothing, I like your shirt," she said.

"Thanks." With that, Sam pranced off to get more food to munch on. "Weirdo."

"What do you have against Sam?" Donna asked.

"What do you have FOR her?"

"…. She's the wife of one of my best friends."

"And she stole him from your other best friend."

"Excuse me? Who are you to judge me?"

"And who are YOU to judge ME?" he threw back, and she opened her mouth, but closed it again. "Anyway, she's too clueless to actually be clueless…. I don't trust her."

"She was just trying to be nice."

"I don't think so."

In the garage, Hyde was still brooding, existing alongside Red. Red was perfectly happy with this, as his biological son would be talking his ear off about one thing or another. While he generally missed Eric, he didn't miss the constant chatter.

"Red, can we talk?" he heard Hyde say, and he almost dropped his screwdriver. He turned slowly, mouth dropped in surprise and indignation.

"Are you serious?" he asked. "You never want to talk. I like that about you. Why do you want to talk now?"

"… Should I divorce Sam?" Red didn't know how to answer his surrogate son. On one hand, he didn't like that these days it seemed that everyone was getting divorced and running out on a commitment they made to each other and to God. In his day if you had a bad marriage, you just stuck it out because it was your responsibility to. But on the other hand, he knew that Hyde never really loved Sam, and that this marriage had been a sham from the beginning. So he just sighed, and shook his head.

"I'm not getting into this," Red said. "It's not my business."

"I just feel like I shouldn't get divorced because my parents-."

"I'm not listening to this!"

"But I still love Jackie, and-!"

"And you blew it with her, stop talking, I'm going to fix a car now!" Red said, crawling under his car in an effort to get away. Hyde got on his hands and knees.

"If I got divorced I would be like my parents, and I don't want that," he said to the tire, as he couldn't see Red's head. "And even though I love Jackie, maybe Sam is right. Maybe I can learn to love her. I mean, it's true, she hasn't lied to me about anything, and she pretty much lets me do my own thing, which is cool of her. And Jackie and I, it's just really weird and complicated."

"Yeah yeah yeah," Red said, ignoring him.

"I mean, I'll get over her," Hyde said. "Time does that, right?"

"Sure."

"…. It's just that I'm not so sure I CAN get over her. And I know that she and Jude are getting divorced, but he seems to make her happy, which I never could do…" He looked over, and saw Jackie sitting on Jude's lap, talking with him and laughing. "I'm gonna let her go. I have to." With that, he stood up, and went into the house. Red pulled himself out from under the car, and was glad he never got involved in any of these kid's problems.

* * *

"So we're meeting with him Thursday morning," Jackie said in the phone. "He said that he was going to review our case and maybe it would just be a matter of annulment! Your uncle is the best!"

"I'm glad it's working out," Brooke said. "So since he lost his job what is Jude going to do when this is all over?"

"He doesn't know yet, but he did say he was going to fly out to Vegas and get his stuff," Jackie said. "Then come back here and work things out. He's going out with Sarah tonight."

"Oh yes? That's exciting for him!"

"And how are you?" Jackie asked, and she heard Brooke sigh.

"Getting back into the swing of things," Brooke said. "Betsy is happy I'm back, and I'll be happy to go back to work tomorrow."

"I bet," Jackie said. "So Michael asked about you."

"Oh God."

"I had a talk with him. I explained it was too much to ask of you," Jackie said. "I think he understands."

"… I wish it wasn't too much to ask."

"I know… Crap, I have to go, I'm helping Jude pick out something to wear tonight."

"Okay, call me when you know what the deal is with your marriage," Brooke said.

"I will. Love ya."

"Love ya too." Jackie hung up, and Jude walked in, wearing his nicest shirt.

"How does this look?" he asked.

"You're going to a burger place, not Tavern on the Green," Jackie said. "Your tee shirt is fine. Don't scare her off."

"You're right, you're right," he said, taking the shirt off so he was just wearing his tee shirt. "Okay! I'm off!"

"Have a good time. I'll be here, by myself."

"So go to the basement."

"No, if I stay around Donna too long she'll know Steven and I had sex. And then she'll flip out and yell at me and it will just be bad. We just made up, I don't want to start fighting again already."

"…. Sometimes fighting is all friends do before it's time to move on."

"Please don't say that."

"Sorry," he said. "Okay, I'm off then. I'll see you when I get home."

"Juuuude."

"Whaaaat?"

"Are you going to tell her?"

"... I'll tell her on our next date assuming this one goes well."

"Okay," she said, unconvinced, and he walked out the door. While she was happy that Jude was going out to meet someone she thought he would be absolutely adorable with, she suddenly felt very alone again. The way she felt before she went to Vegas, that she couldn't talk to anyone. Now that Brooke was gone and Jude was going to be paying more attention to Sarah, Jackie felt like she was being shut out all over again.

And then there was that ring. That ring on Sam's finger that she adored, that would have looked perfect on HER finger. That ring was exactly her type, given to Sam by the man she was still in love with. The man who said he was still in love with her, even though that damn ring said otherwise. But then she'd told him she didn't want to be with him. But was that really unreasonable? He was with someone else!

She threw herself on the pullout and turned on the TV. Maybe there would be some old movie on PBS she could watch, pining for the old days of Hollywood Romanticism.


	11. All These Horrible Realities

A/N: Hey guys! This was slightly delayed because my sister was in town yesterday and also a friend got back from National Guard training. But I have some time now and thought I would share the next chapter, in which we finally get some truths coming out. And there just MAY be a fight. All for you, Stephen. Reviews are always appreciated, though I won't force you.

Disclaimer: I don't own 70S SHOW, nor FEAR AND LOATHING.

* * *

Jude looked through the window of The Hub, and saw Sarah sitting there in a chic but relaxed outfit. She was looking in a compact mirror, and clearly nervous. He smiled, happy that it wasn't just him. He walked into The Hub, and quietly walked to the Jukebox, scanning it for the perfect song. He made his decision, and hit the button.

'Hold Me Tight' by The Beatles began playing. Jude knew that it wasn't their best work by a long shot, but he had a fondness towards it. It was cute enough, and innocent enough that she'd hopefully find it cute too. He sat at the table with her, and she jumped a little bit.

"Oh hey!" she said, trying to act cool. She was clearly the kind of girl who didn't like to show how excited she was about anything.

"Hello."

"Did you put this song on?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't this considered the lamest of the Beatles music?" she asked, arching an eyebrow at him. Ouch, he thought.

"Well I think it's underappreciated," he answered. She smiled, and pushed her basket of fries in his direction.

"I hope you like fries, I got some for us to share… But ate a lot already…"

"That's okay," he said.

"I eat when I'm nervous."

"Why are you nervous?" he asked, and she averted her eyes coyly. She hated the fact she was nervous, but she wasn't really accustomed to actual dating.

"It's hard to find a nice guy when you're a girl like me," was all she said, and he shrugged, and ate a fry. "And besides, you're leaving soon anyway, so-."

"Actually… I'm not," he stated. "I was fired."

"You were fired?"

"Yep. And tossed out of the hotel room I was staying in at the place I was working," he continued.

"Oh man, that sucks."

"Yeah…. Well, it does and it doesn't," he said.

"How couldn't it?" she asked.

"Well, I've made some friends here, and I'm not exactly a guy who likes Las Vegas all that much," he stated.

"Well, it's certainly not Point Place, Wisconsin," she said, sarcasm dripping from her voice, and he chuckled.

"You'd know what I meant if you lived there," he explained. "And besides. This town is okay. I mean, I've only been here a couple days, but everyone, well MOST everyone, seems so genuine and welcoming."

"Well then you should definitely stick around," Sarah said. "If not for the people, the sweet rolls." He chuckled, and nodded.

"Well of course the baked goods here are one of the perks about this town."

"And what are the others?" she asked, leaning forward a little bit.

"Well…. You, for one. If I could get to know a certain baker perhaps it would make this town even better." She grinned, and their eyes locked, brown meeting ambiguous, and she leaned forward across the table. They kissed, and what started as sweet and gentle began to become a little more.

"ADULTURER!" the voice exclaimed, and they pulled away. Sam was in the door, hand on hip and a glint in her eyes.

"Oh Christ, what do you want?" Jude asked as she walked to the table.

"So did he tell you he's married?" Sam asked, and Sarah's gaze turned to Jude.

"You're MARRIED?!" she exclaimed, rage and hurt caking her voice.

"No! I mean, yes, but it's not-!"

"To Jackie," Sam clarified, smiling smugly. "So I take it he didn't tell you." Sarah didn't answer, but pursed her lips, a glare across her face.

"Bastard!" she spat, and leapt up from the table, running out of The Hub.

Jude turned to Sam, rage filled.

"Oh don't act so shocked," she said, and he grabbed her by the elbow. "Hey!"

He dragged her out of The Hub to the alley behind the kitchen.

"What the FUCK did you do that for?" he barked. "You know Jackie and I are in the process of getting divorced! God, the marriage was a sham from the start, you KNOW that!"

"Well I just didn't want that girl to get the wrong idea," she sniffed, knocking his hand of her. "Jackie may enjoy sniffing around married men, but most girls don't."

"No, because REAL ladies sniff around drunk and vulnerable men, right?" Jude asked, voice low. "One's with girls back home?"

"I was doing him a favor!" she snapped, pointing at him. "And he's MINE now! He's the best husband I've ever had and I'll be damned if I let him go that easily!" Jude was about to throw back a barb that involved street walkers and her choice of wardrobe, when it suddenly occurred to him.

"Hang on a moment, that was a peculiar way to phrase that," he said.

"To phrase what?"

"The best husband you've ever had? Like you've had someone to compare him to?"

"… No!"

"And I know you aren't clever enough to say that in an ironic sense so…. WAIT! I DO know you!" he said, a smile growing more and more. "You're married to that greasy guy who owes Lance all that money!"

"… I don't know what you're-."

"Yeah!! You did Women's Mud Boxing at the Roxy Foxy Go Go Pit!" he exclaimed, pointing at her. "Yeah! I saw you fight Bootsie Simpson under the name Sasha Denver!" Sam was turning purple.

"And last I saw your greaseball ACTUAL husband, two weeks ago, he said to Lance that you'd run off with some guy, but the joke was on him because greaseball hadn't signed the papers!" Jude exclaimed. "You're still married to HIM!"

"You better keep quiet," Sam said, grabbing his arm.

"Bet you can't give me one good reason why."

"Cuz if you do, not only will I lose Hyde, you'll lose Jackie," Sam said, triumphantly. "She'd dump you so fast and run back to Hyde, and you'd be alone. A pathetic lounge singer drinking his problems away. Hyde was my ticket out of that city, as much as Jackie was yours. Not to mention you totally love her. I heard you say it."

"If you didn't' notice, you scared someone else away not two minutes ago."

"Someone who's just a distraction from the one you actually want but can't have," Sam said. "I heard you at my house, while you were talking with Red. And might I add, I never got a 'welcome to the family' brunch."

"Well you have it all figured out then, don't you?" he asked. "I'll tell you something. You were right about Vegas. I hated it there. And I really hated being stuck doing something demeaning because I don't have the guts to take a chance, to put my dreams on the line and probably get hurt. I AM lonely. I DO drink away my problems. I did see this as a way out. But you fell into a cliché, Sasha Denver. I'm not in love with Jackie. Beyond superficiality, I'm not even that attracted to her!" Sam looked as if the machinations of her mind had stopped. Her jaw dropped, and she began to sputter.

"But… but…. You slept with her!"

"When we were drunk and vulnerable, and that does not a romance make. We're just friends. Perhaps having a friend of the opposite sex you DON'T sleep with while sober is a complicated concept for you?" he asked, tilting his head.

"You can't tell Hyde about my husband."

"Oh what?"

"Or I'll kick your ass!"

"Ha! Sorry if I'm not intimidated, but there's no mud to throw in my eyes, and if I recall correctly that was your signature move." Her eyes darted frantically, trying to think of a way out of this situation. She was like a cornered animal, and in one last desperate attempt, she grabbed his shoulders.

"What will it take to keep you quiet?" she asked, grinding herself against him. He was certainly caught off guard as she brushed a hand on his cheek. "I'm pretty persuasive when you give me the chance. What will it take?" He snickered, and pushed her away.

"That's twisted," he muttered. "I'm not sleeping with you! Sam, I actually kind of pity you. I do, I really do." With that, he left her in the alley, knowing that her ship was sunk. Because even if he wasn't going to tell Hyde, he'd tell Jackie.

Sam didn't know what was worse.

* * *

Jude sped back towards the Burkhart house, completely excited to tell Jackie. While he probably should have gone to Hyde with the information, he wanted to run it by Jackie first, as she would be more likely to be able to approach him without getting a door slammed in her face. If they went together, it would probably work out. Things were falling into place, and Jude felt great about it.

Well, almost great. Sarah would probably never want to see him again. And besides the friends he'd made in this town she was one of the only glimmers of hope he could find with staying here after being fired.

"Damn, I should have told her," he muttered, now that hindsight was 20-20 and it had all blown up in his face. Had he just been honest from the start it wouldn't have ended up like this with Skanks McGee wrecking it in her feeble attempts to hold onto her fake husband. Well now karma was here and it's name was Jude.

He parked Jackie's car on the street, got out, and saw Hyde getting out of his. Oh lord, speak of the devil, Jude thought, and waved briskly.

"Oh good, I caught you," Hyde said, walking to him. Jude was skeptical, but smiled. "Hey Jude."

"Hey Hyde. What can I do for you?" Jude asked, as they stood in the driveway. "Jackie's inside, so…"

"No, it's not about Jackie. Well it is, but I need to talk to you."

"Okaay…."

"Look, I'm going to be straight with you," Hyde said, about to make the hardest sacrifice of his life. "I am going to stop giving you two a hard time. I want Jackie to be happy, and I want her to be with someone who will treat her right. I think that you are the person who can do that, Jude. I think you two should stay married. You obviously care very deeply about each other. So I'm going to give you my blessing." Jude looked at him right in the aviator covered eyes, and then chuckled a little bit. This day is becoming more and more surreal, he thought.

"You know, that's really big of you, but no thank you."

"What?"

"That was a really noble thing to do, and a really nice thing to say," Jude said. "But Jackie and I, we're just friends. I'm not attracted to her. Jeeze, I have to explain this to everyone-."

"Well what's wrong with her?" Hyde asked, voice tightening.

"Nothing! But I'm falling for someone else!"

"How can you do that to her?"

"Are you not hearing me? I'm not doing anything to her! We're just friends! YOU'RE the one who-!"

"Leave me out of this, this isn't about me!"

"It's always been about you!"

"You make her happy!"

"Well I made her happy for one night, I'll admit that," Jude said, losing his temper and lashing out. "MULTIPLE times I might add." He would have regretted this flippant and crude loss of control…

Had Hyde not leapt at him, determined to take him down. The fight was unexpected on one level, but on the other hand it was bound to happen. But neither of them knew how to fight very well. So what should have been uppercuts and roundhouse kicks was in reality stumbling and uncoordinated punches hitting everywhere they shouldn't and nowhere that was really effective. Neighbors would look through the windows and see two scruffy looking young men in their high brow neighborhood, duking it out over the pretty girl in the Burkhart Household.

Jude threw a punch but missed, and Hyde lifted him up on his shoulder. Jude did all he could do, which was elbow Hyde in the back. Hyde growled, dropped Jude, and then hit him in the nose.

"Oh you BASTARD!" Jude shouted, and kicked Hyde in the back of the knee. I fight like a twelve year old girl, he thought incoherently before getting rammed into the garage. Hyde was flipped around and smacked against the garage as well, and they both shoved each other off themselves.

"Don't mess with me, I'm a Kiwi!" Jude said, holding up his hands. "I'll kick you in the knee again."

"That was hardly a fair move," Hyde said, and Jude spat blood onto the driveway. They both wheezed, and decided now was a good time to back off, though they were frustrated by the stalemate.

Pamela Burkhart was dropped off by a suitor at that moment. She got out of the car, and walked up the driveway, to see two bloodied young men hacking and rasping.

"Hello Steven. Jude," she said, as if it was every day that two sorry sights like these were in her driveway. She walked into the house. Both men just shook their heads.

"You really fought hard for the girl you just offered to me like a piece of property," Jude said, rubbing his ribcage.

"Don't talk to me."

"… This is pathetic, who won?"

"… I don't know." Cough. "And hey, for saying you don't love her you're fighting hard too, it's not just me."

"God, you and your girlfriend sure think in terms of black and white," Jude groaned, and decided to sit on the concrete before he lost his balance. "Loving and being in love are two completely different things. I DO love her, probably the same way you love Donna, okay?"

"… Oh yeah?"

"Yes!" Jude barked, and rubbed his aching ribs, as that was a little too emphatic for them at the moment. "Dammit, we're both wusses."

"It would appear that way," Hyde muttered, leaning against the garage door.

"I mean come on man. You need to either get her back or actualy deal with not having her, and this little exchange doesn't count as dealing. What's gonna happen when she gets a real husband? Going to beat him up too? Or attempt to, as that didn't really hurt-."

"It's not that easy."

"Sure it is! Step One: dump the stripper girlfriend. You don't love her. I'm not even sure you LIKE her," Jude said, wiping his bloody nose on a tissue he fished from his pocket.

"Sure I like her!"

"Name something about her that you genuinely couldn't live without then," Jude said, challenging him. Hyde thought for a moment.

"Well… she's good at keeping up with the laundry…?" he threw out there. Jude burst out laughing, though it hurt like hell, and put a hand to his face to hid the grimace. Hyde began chuckling too.

"If you're staying with your girlfriend because of her laundry skills-."

"Why do you keep calling her my 'girlfriend'?" Hyde asked, suddenly. Jude's smile faded. Shit. He didn't want to be the messenger.

"Heh, girlfriend, wife, no difference. I meant wife."

"You're lying."

"I am not!"

"I can tell when people are lying to me."

"That's an ironic statement considering."

"Okay, what's going on?" Hyde asked, and Jude pulled himself up from the ground.

"Nothing!"

"Jude, would you tell me before I make your nose bleed some more?"

"It's barely bleeding."

"That's not the p-!"

"Okay okay!" Jude exclaimed, holding up his hands. "Listen Hyde…You aren't going to like this, and I just want to say that you aren't mad at me… for this piece of news I'm about to tell you anyway, clearly you're mad at me, but-."

"Out with it!"

"You and Sam aren't married."

"…Yeah we are."

"No, you aren't. She already has a husband and he sure as hell ain't you."

"How could she already have a husband, man?" Hyde demanded. "And how would you know about it?"

"He comes to the bar I sing… well, SANG at," Jude continued. "He never signed the divorce papers."

"So why did she follow me back here?!" Hyde exclaimed.

"To get away from Vegas!" Jude exclaimed. "Look, if you aren't a tourist, Sinatra, or a casino owner, Las Vegas swallows your soul! She latched on to you, the son of a music mogul, and she fled from the cesspool as fast as she could. Had she just been the fling she was supposed to be, she'd have been stuck living her unfulfilled life, and she didn't care who it hurt in the process because despair makes you selfish." He smiled ruefully. He'd almost described himself to a T.

"I can't believe this," Hyde said.

"I never meant to tell you like this, it was a Freudian slip-."

"Does Jackie know?"

"Do you think she would have kept quiet?" Though he neglected to say he was on the way to tell her.

"Heh, good point."

"You upset?"

"No, I'm just PISSED! I was grifted, man!"

"Yeah, you were," Hyde straightened up, and covered his eyes with weariness.

"And do you know what the worst part is?"

"Hm?" Jude asked, tilting his head back in attempts to stop the bleeding and sitting next to him against the garage door.

"I shoved Jackie away because of it."

"No, you did THAT because you're a coward," Jude said, voice somewhat nasal because of the tilting and pinching. "Sam was just an excuse."

"… Maybe."

"Look here, from what I hear you and Jackie are really good at hurting each other, but even better at loving each other. Once you kick Sam on her ass, and Jackie and I get divorced or annulled or whatever, why don't you two just work it out? For good? Because she may love me, but she's in love with you… Could you help me up?"

"Oh…. Yeah, sure," Hyde said, standing. Jude grabbed his hand, and stood up with his help.

"You throw a punch like a Kiwi," Jude said, and flashed a quick grin. Hyde smiled back briefly. "Cheer up. You're not the first to be an idiot in that godforsaken town."

"So did she tell you we slept together?"

"Yeah, she did. That's how I knew your 'noble deed' was full of shit."

"Ahhh."

"One more question," Jude said. "If you are indeed full of shit, why'd you give Sam that ring?"

"… What ring?"

"Jackie said that Sam was sporting a new diamond ring this morning-."

"UNBELIEVEABLE."

"…. Okay, I've hit a nerve again," Jude said. "I'm going inside. Gonna clean up, change my clothes, explain this to Jackie, as I take it her Mom didn't say anything."

"Yeah, she'd of been out here by now if Pamela had," Hyde muttered. "I have to go. I have to work some stuff out."

"I bet," Jude said. Hyde nodded, and got in his car. Jude waved a little, and walked into the house.


	12. Babbling Insane Lies

A/N: Wow, a lot happens in this chapter. I just went back and read it and surprised myself a little bit! The time of reckoning has come for Sam. I hope you like reading it as much as I liked writing it. It's very satisfying, isn't it?

Disclaimer: I don't own 70S SHOW nor FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS.

* * *

Jackie was watching 'Auntie Mame' when she heard Jude come into the house.

"Honey, I'm home," he said, walking into the living room, his nose bleeding and clothes torn.

"OhmiGOD what happened to YOU?!" she exclaimed, leaping from the couch to his side. He shrugged.

"Met up with a boxing kangaroo. With aviator sunglasses."

"I'm going to kill him," she said, pulling him towards the kitchen with her.

"Aw come on, you should be flattered. The fight was about you."

"There's a shocker," Jackie said, soaking a towel in water and cleaning off his face. "Where is he?"

"You should know that he wanted me to love you and stay married to you," Jude said, cringing as she dabbed at his face. "Ow, easy!"

"Why did he want me to stay with you? So he wouldn't feel guilty about Sam anymore?"

"No, he thought that I could make you happy, That's all he wants. When I said no, he got crabby. Awwww, right? A regular fairy tale." Jackie smiled a little bit at the information, and he took the wet towel from her hands so he could tend to his own wounds.

"You men are so bad at resolving conflict," she said. "Though I am a little flattered that you two came to fisticuffs over me."

"I was just defending myself, it had nothing to do with you," Jude said. "Oh, and I have another interesting piece of-."

"Wait, you're home early from your date," Jackie said, interrupting him. "What happened with Sarah?"

"Oh, well that ties into this. Sam showed up and told her that you and I were married, and Sarah took off," Jude said.

"I told you you should have told her that we were married."

"Yeah, I get that now, thanks. But then-."

"God, that bitch!" she interrupted again. "Who does she think she is? You never did anything to her and she wrecks your chance at happiness?"

"Ah, but karmic retribution was in the stars, because-."

"You want me to go kick her ass? She'll look worse off than you do-."

"SHUT UP for a second!" he said, grabbing her shoulders. "Sam was already married before she got her hooks on Hyde."

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah! She TOTALLY lied to him!"

"OHMIGOD! Does Steven know?!"

"Yep! I told him!"

"That sleazy brat! I knew I was right about her!"

"And it gets better. She offered me sex if I'd keep quiet."

"She did NOT!"

"She DID!"

"THAT BITCH!" Jackie exclaimed. "How could she do this to me? Even more important, how could she do this to Steven?! Is he going to dump her?"

"I would certainly hope so!"

"Can I kick her ass?"

"Uh, yes! Just let me change my clothes!"

* * *

Brooke was reading a book of Roman Plays as Betsy played in her playpen. She felt at ease being back home with her daughter, and the prospect of going back to work the next day was one that she was looking forward to. Sure, the librarians at the Public Library in Chicago weren't as personable, and the patrons were a lot crabbier than those at the Point Place Library, but it was home. At least, it HAD to be home. Even if she missed Point Place, this was where she had to be.

There was a knocking on the door. She stood, wondering who it could be, and in her ambivalence wished that there as a peephole to the hallway on her door.

"Who is it?" she asked, cautiously.

"Pizza delivery," the gravelly voice said.

"Pizza?" she questioned, opening the door. "I think you have the wrong apartment-." She stopped, for it wasn't a pizza delivery guy.

It was Kelso.

"Hey, sorry about the lie, but I didn't think you'd let me in otherwise," he said, voice now undisguised.

"Michael, what are you doing here?" she asked, letting him in.

"Well… you left our date without dessert the other night," he said, pulling a candy bar from his pocket and handing it to her.

"Although I wouldn't be surprised, I somehow doubt that you came to Chicago to give me a salted nut roll," she said, as he went to pick up Betsy.

"Well I also saw the cutest stuffed bunny I had to get Betsy," he explained, taking that from his other coat pocket and waving it in the baby's face. She cooed and grabbed at it. "His name is Claude, Fez named him actually-."

"Michael, what are you doing here?" she asked, softly. He exhaled, knowing he had to explain himself.

"Okay Brooke, I know that you think we aren't compatible, and that I am a bad boyfriend who couldn't commit to save his life," he said. "And I know that I haven't really shown that I can be a good boyfriend. And I KNOW that you and Jackie are like, BEST FRIENDS now or whatever and I'm sure she's gone ON and ON about what a bad boyfriend I was-."

"Actually, you rarely came up in conversations," Brooke said.

"Oh… Well anyway, my point is that I WANT to be a good boyfriend. And I want to be a good one to you and you alone." She shifted from one foot to the other, and tried not to meet his gaze.

"Michael," she began.

"You don't have to say yes, but I want you to know that I've liked a lot of girls. Like a LOT of girls. But I think that the only one I could fall in love with is you. And when that happens, what do those other girls matter?" he asked, taking her hand with his free one.

Well damn, Brooke thought.

"This better not be a line," she said, firmly, though a smile was creeping through. He grinned, shaking his head.

"No lines, I swear," he said.

"I'm going to need some time, Michael."

"I know."

"…. But if we take it day by day…. Can we just do that? Take it day by day?"

"Yes, yes we can," he said.

"…. Then okay."

"Hear that Betsy? Mommy's going to give Daddy another chance!" he said, bouncing the baby a little bit, who was more entertained by the toy than what her parents were doing.

"But what about this distance issue?" Brooke asked.

"We'll work it out."

"I mean, you could move here, but the apartment is so small-."

"We'll work it out."

"And I don't even LIKE Chicago-."

"Brooke," he said, putting an arm around her back. "We'll work it out."

And she believed him.

* * *

Sam and Donna were in the basement, watching TV. Sam was sort of distracted. Any minute now the shoe was going to drop. Jude HAD to have told Hyde or Jackie about her husband. And either way, she was dead.

"You're awfully quiet tonight," Donna said, and Sam didn't say anything. "Anything you want to talk about?" She decided that she should at least try and get someone on her side. And Donna seemed eager to step up.

"Nope…. Well…. I think Jackie is trying to steal my husband," she said, as pathetically as she could.

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know. The fact she's obsessive and a total brat maybe?"

"… I see."

"I mean, I saw the way they were looking at each other at the brunch today," Sam said. "Sure, he gave me this ring this morning, but I think that he's regretting it."

"Hyde gave you that ring because he wants to be with you, Sam," Donna said. "That's a HUGE thing for him. I don't think that he is going to leave you for Jackie…"

"I hope not," Sam said. "Do you think he loves me?" Donna smiled a little bit. She didn't really know what to say. Hyde never seemed in love with anyone, except Jackie. But he did seem less aggravated.

"Well you make him happy," Donna said.

"If I lied to him, do you think he'd forgive me?" Sam asked.

"I don't know… What did you say to him?" Donna asked.

At that moment, Hyde walked into the basement. Sam stood, and he glared at her.

"Donna, could you leave me with Sam for a little while?" he asked, and Donna stood up, slowly.

"Hyde, what's wrong?" she asked.

"Just leave us for a moment." Donna looked from Hyde to Sam, and held up her hands.

"Hyde, I just want to say something before I leave," Donna said. "If you're doing what I THINK you're doing, please think it through."

"What?" he asked.

"You can't just jump from one girl to the next!" Donna said. "It's not fair to you, it's not fair to Jackie, and it's not fair to your wife."

"Donna, this is something between me and Sam," Hyde said, wondering how she knew that he'd been with Jackie the night before. "What happens between me and Sam isn't your business, just as what happened between me and Jackie isn't either."

"Wait, what happened between you and Jackie?" Donna asked.

"Yeah, what DID happen?" Sam demanded. Hyde snorted.

"Donna, BEAT IT!" he snapped, and Donna huffed, and left the basement. He turned to Sam.

"What did you do with her?" Sam asked, eyes slits.

"Here's a better question. When were you going to tell me that you're already married?" he threw back. She crossed her arms.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm talking about your HUSBAND in VEGAS!" he yelled. "Jude told me everything!"

"Well Jude is LYING!" Sam yelled back. "He's just Jackie's little monkey after all! Of course he's going to make stuff up!"

"I don't think he was, Sam," Hyde said. "I think he didn't mean to tell me! I think that YOU'VE been the liar this whole time!"

"Okay fine, so I'm married. I'm getting a divorce!"

"Christ! Because of this selfish stunt you pulled, I threw the best part of my life away!"

"Hey, that was YOUR choice, Hyde!" she snarled, pointing at him. "I didn't hold a gun to your head! YOU dumped Jackie!! You could have told me to beat it!"

"I'm well aware that I messed up with Jackie, okay? I take full responsibility for that! But the fact that you've been LYING and MANIPULATING me this entire time is unacceptable!"

"Jackie manipulated you too!"

"Never like this! And here's another HUGE difference between these two situations. I could forgive her because I LOVE her!"

"... No you don't."

"Yes, I do. I love Jackie, Sam. I've always loved her."

"You love ME now!" she snapped.

"Sam, I never loved you," Hyde said, firmly. "You were an OBLIGATION. And you were perfectly content making yourself out to be one. Since day one you have been lying to me because-."

"Because I want to be with you!" Sam exclaimed.

"You can't build a relationship based on lies, Sam!" he exclaimed. "You've been prancing around here, hurting people, lying to people, and you never once showed any remorse!"

"We make each other happy!"

"I'm NOT happy!" he yelled. "I haven't been happy since you walked through my door! I've tried to convince myself that I was, but I'm not!"

"If you didn't want to be with me you would have asked for a divorce!" she said. "Doesn't that mean anything?!"

"That just means that I didn't want to turn into my parents. But I've realized something. It wasn't the divorce that screwed me up, it was them in a loveless marriage that did!" he explained. "This was going to happen anyway, Sam, even if you hadn't been lying to me all this time. That just made it happen faster!"

Outside, Donna was sitting on the steps, when Jackie and Jude walked up to her.

"Donna, is Steven in there?" Jackie asked.

"Yes," Donna said, putting her hands on her hips. "Jackie, you're unbelievable!"

"Excuse me?"

"He's in there breaking up with Sam!" Donna snapped.

"Oh thank God," Jackie said. "I have to go and-."

"No, you're staying right here!" Donna snarled, grabbing her arm.

"Donna!"

"You slept with him, didn't you?" Donna asked, fiercely.

"I… Jude, did you tell-?"

"I didn't tell!"

"So you did!" Donna exclaimed. "That's despicable!"

"Donna, you don't understand-," Jackie said, pulling her arm away.

"What's to understand?" Donna asked. "You may not like Sam, you don't have to like her, but you don't sleep with her husband! That doesn't give you the right-!"

"Donna, calm down," Jude said.

"How could you condone this?!" Donna asked him, and turned back to Jackie. "You are so selfish! How could you be so cruel?"

"You're calling ME cruel?!" Jackie yelled, shoving her in fury. "Maybe you should go and see why Steven is breaking up with her, as it has nothing to do with me!"

"It has everything to do with you!" Donna said, shoving back. "Do you really need a man in your life that badly that you'll break up a marriage and the group?"

"Sam was never part of the group!" Jackie yelled, as Jude just stood back watching the friendship come to a breaking point. "You always assume the worst of me! You always think that I must have done something wrong to bring this kind of awfulness onto me! Why can't you just take MY side for once?! Why can't you believe ME?!" She shoved past Donna and stormed into the basement.

"She is completely and totally-!"

"SHUT UP, DONNA!" Jude snarled, probably out of his boundaries but pushed to the edge. It was one thing for Sam to come in and take away Jackie's life, but it was quite another for her supposed best friend to tell her that she pretty much deserved it. "Hyde isn't breaking up with Sam because of Jackie! He's breaking up with her because they were never married! She's been lying to all of you this entire time!"

"What are you talking-?"

"She's married to a guy in Vegas, I know him!" Jude snapped. "God, your loyalties are really fucked up!"

Jackie stormed in on Sam and Hyde. She walked right past Hyde and shoved Sam into the washing machine.

"HEY!" Sam exclaimed, and Jackie was going to leap at her but Hyde grabbed her around the waist to keep her from jumping on her.

"You are such a disgusting human being!" she snarled up at the blonde. "How could you lie to him like that!?"

"Jackie," Hyde said, but she ignored him and continued to try and pull away to kick her ass.

"Get out of my face," Sam said.

"He trusted you, he thought that you wouldn't hurt him like I had, and the entire time you were just lying to him!" Jackie exclaimed, anger and rage pouring out. "You are pathetic and selfish! You don't deserve a man like Steven, and you CERTAINLY don't deserve the ring that he gave you!" She grabbed the ring off of Sam's finger in a quick flash.

"Hey!"

"I have the right mind to beat you up!" Jackie snarled, throwing the ring on the floor. "And I could too! I'm short, but I just took on a big fake blonde outside, what's two in one day?! CAKE, that's what it is!!"

"Jackie, calm down," Hyde said, lifting her up by the waist as she kicked and swung at Sam. Jude and Donna came into the basement next.

"And then you had the AUDACITY to try and bribe Jude with sex if he kept his mouth shut?!" Jackie growled, and Hyde dropped her in surprise.

"What?" he asked, and Sam glowered at the floor. "Well if THAT doesn't say 'I love you', I don't know what does."

"For the record I didn't accept!" Jude called from the corner of the basement, but no one was listening to him.

"I was right about you, you ARE trash, lying cheating trash!" Jackie bit. "To think Steven wasted that ring on the likes of you! Whorey bitch!"

"Jackie, go stand by Jude," Hyde said, and she huffed but obeyed. Jude put an arm around her, and she leaned against him, trying to look somewhat badass. Hyde then turned to Sam. "I want you to leave this house. Tonight. I don't want you to come back. Lucky for me I don't have any legal work to worry about. I'm letting you go, Sam. Fly." She looked from him, to Jackie, to Donna, and then back at Hyde. She stamped her foot a little, looking completely dejected, and then left the basement.

Donna turned to Jackie.

"Jackie, I-." But Jackie had none of it.

"Save it," she snapped, and stormed out of the basement too. Jude shrugged, and Hyde shrugged back.

"How was I supposed to know-?" Donna began, but Jude walked past her.

"You could have believed her from the start," he muttered. "Look, I'm going after her, unless you want to Hyde?" Hyde sighed, and rubbed his eyes in weariness.

"She needs a friend right now and you're probably one of the best ones she has," Hyde said. "I'll come by later." Jude nodded, and smiled a little at him. "What?"

"Aww, we're bonding," Jude said, flashing a grin, and Hyde smirked. Jude ran out the door after Jackie, and Donna sat on the couch, resting her forehead in her hands.

"I think I just really fucked up my friendship with Jackie," she said, softly. Hyde nodded, and sat next to her.

"Welcome to the club. She'll come back to you eventually. She always does."

"Only because she had to. She doesn't have to anymore. She has Brooke, and Jude." Hyde sighed, and leaned back.

"That ring wasn't even for Sam," he said. Donna looked up at him. "It was for Jackie. Sam just found it and put it on, even when I told her it wasn't for her." Donna snorted.

"Jackie was right about her the whole time," she muttered. "I can't believe I was such a shitty friend. And I think this time it's gone too far."

"Again, join the club."

"No," Donna said, shaking her head and facing him. "You still have a chance. She was going to kill Sam because of what she did to YOU." Hyde smiled sadly, and leaned over to pick up the ring. He examined it.

"I can't give her this," he said, and stood up.

"What do you mean you can't give it to her?" Donna asked.

"It's kind of been tainted, don't you think?" Hyde asked. "I'm pawning it and getting a new one."

"Oh. I thought you meant-."

"No," he said. "I'm not letting her get away this time."


	13. Just Sick Enough to be Totally Confident

A/N: Sorry sorry sorry!! Halloween weekend attacked me and wouldn't let me do anything productive! But it's up now and I hope that you like it! I think there's one more chapter after this, and then an epilogue! Now that Sam is gone it can only be good. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own 70S SHOW, FEAR AND LOATHING, or The Beatles.

* * *

Jackie was pacing the front porch, ranting and raving.

"I still can't believe that she did that to him!" she spat. "I wish Steven had let me kick her ass, I could have done it!"

"I believe you," Jude said, quietly.

"She hurt so many people just to get what she wanted!" she continued. "I mean, I fight for what I want, but I make sure that people aren't hurt in the process!"

"I believe you."

"… What's wrong with you-?" she began, but Pamela walked onto the porch.

"Jackie sweetie, Logan Travers is on the phone," she said, and Jackie said an 'oh!' and rushed into the house. Jude would have followed, as it was about his marriage, but instead just stared ahead. Sam was gone. That was good, to be sure. But Sarah was gone too. Even though he didn't know her very well, he felt that there could have been something there between the two of them. He could see himself falling for her really hard. Harder than Roseanna, harder than any girl he'd met. It would be easy to simply blame Sam, but it would have come out eventually. He should have told her about the marriage, even if it wasn't anything important to him.

Jackie rushed out onto the porch, smiling widely.

"ANNULMENT!" she shrieked, hopping up and down. Jude jumped up, and whooped. She jumped into his arms, and he lifted her up. "He's started filing papers for annulment, and he thinks that it should be a snap! This is great news!! I have to call Brooke!"

"This is great," he said, setting her down. She continued smiling, but could tell that he was thinking of other things.

"Are you okay?" she asked. He nodded. "Oh my God, you've fallen in love with me-."

"What? NO," he said, holding up his hands. "It's not that, don't worry. It's… I should have told Sarah. I mean, I'm going to be in Point Place for awhile now while I figure out what to do next, and I REALLY like those pastries she sells." Jackie chuckled.

"And you really like her," she stated, and he nodded. "Go to her, Jude. Go to her and beg for forgiveness. Tell her we're getting an annulment, and get her back." Jude smiled at her, slyly.

"You're right," he said. "Are you okay though? I mean, you're still mad at Donna, and-."

"I'm fine, Donna and I…. we'll be friends again, but it won't be the same," she said. "I've accepted that. We're totally different people than high school… It's time we accepted that. And I think I'm okay with it. Yes, I'm still pissed at her insinuations, but for now, I feel quite at peace."

"Okay, as long as you're okay," he said. "I'm going after Sarah, Jackie."

"Good for you!" she cheered.

"Good for me!"

"I'm calling Brooke!"

"I'm taking your car!"

"You need to get your own car, but okay!" she said, and they both turned in other directions, her running for the phone and him running for the Camero.

Jackie grabbed the phone, and dialed Brooke's number. She hopped in excitement.

"Mom, I'm getting an annulment!" she called over her shoulder.

"That's nice, dear!"

The phone picked up.

"Brooke?"

"Actually, it's Kelso," the voice said.

"Michael? What are YOU doing there?"

"Well Jackie, if you must know, currently I'm doing Brooke-." The phone was yanked away from him.

"Jackie, hey," Brooke said.

"You and Michael, huh?" Jackie asked, knowingly.

"Oh, yes, me and Michael," Brooke said, sheepishly. "What's going on?"

"Brooke, Logan is filing papers for an annulment."

"Oh good!"

"And do I have a story for you! Tell Michael to sit tight because this is going to take awhile."

* * *

Sarah was strumming her guitar furiously as she sat in the back room. The nerve! Right when flirtation was turning to attraction, it turns out he's married to a fairly decent girl whose only real crime was being friends with Hot Donna. Sarah strummed, but realized that she was playing 'Hey Jude'. She shrieked, and stopped playing putting her guitar down. She ran a hand through her long brown hair, and rested her elbow on her knee as she cradled her forehead in her hand. 

There was a knocking at the front door of the bakery. She stood and shuffled out to the front room to see Jude outside. She put a hand on her hip, and pointed at the 'closed' sign. He shook his head, and mouthed 'please let me in'.

"You dumbass, it's not soundproof glass! Do you know how expensive that is?" she asked, and he stepped back in surprise.

"Can I come in?"

"No! Go away!"

"Sarah, I want to explain-!"

"What's to explain?!"

"A lot, actually!"

"I doubt it!"

"Come on, I look like an idiot talking through a window," Jude said, looking behind him and eying people in the street who were eying him right back.

"Well here's a solution: Stop talking and scram!" she snapped.

"Sarah, it's really not what you think. Well, it kind of is, but it's more complicated than that," he said. "Look, I'm trying to make up for everything, and I know I'm a complete idiot for not saying anything before, but I'm saying it now. I just don't want to do it with an audience!"

"We enjoy the floor show!" a passer by said, snidely.

"Oh fuck off," Jude spat at him. Sarah wrinkled her nose, and sighed in defeat.

"You have five minutes, and it better be one hell of a story," she said, unlocking the bakery and letting him in. He entered, and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Jackie and I got married in Vegas in a drunken haze, not unlike the kind of haze Hunter S. Thompson seems to praise in 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas'. She was mad at her ex, I was mad at mine, things got out of control, and now we're just friends. The annulment papers are in the works." Sarah kept her arms crossed, but her face visibly softened.

"Did you sleep with her?"

"… Yes. But again, it was drunken and it didn't mean anything. Presently and forevermore, we are just friends."

"Well that blonde made it sound like-."

"Psh, that blonde had it out for Jackie."

"Why?"

"Because the man she was passing as her husband is in love with my wife, and wanted to keep her away from him, and if I was with Jackie, Sam could be with Hyde. But she's gone now, she was kicked to the curb."

"… This is all a little too 'As the World Turns' for my tastes," Sarah said, looking away.

"Believe me, mine too," Jude agreed, and she sighed, letting her hands fall to her sides. "Look, I know I should have told you, but it didn't seem like a big deal because to me it never was one. You know?" She bit her lip, and shook her head.

"Not really." He sighed, and smiled ruefully.

"Well, that's fine," he said, stepping back. "It's not something I would expect anyone to completely understand. I'm not sure I even do."

"Ah."

"… Well, I'll be going then," he said. "I just thought I'd attempt to clear things up. And again, sorry about all that. I'll just let you get back to doing bakery things."

"… Okay," she said. He walked for the door, and turned briefly, looking as if he were trying to keep a strong demeanor but obviously failing at it. "I hope that you find someone who can be man enough to admit his mistakes. Before it's too late. Goodbye, Sarah. You're the sweetest thing about this town. And I'm including the cinnamon buns in that statement." He turned, and left the bakery. She nodded, and locked the door. She walked to the back room, trying to be confident with her decision, trying to stop thinking about him and what could have been. But for some reason, the song she'd been strumming earlier, the one that was about a man named Jude, suddenly ran through her mind, applying to her as well.

_Hey Jude, don't let me down._

_You have found her, now go and get her._

_(let it out and let it in)_

_Remember to let her into your heart._

_Then you can start to make it better._

She turned, and ran out of the back room, and then out of the bakery.

Jude was halfway down the street to Jackie's car, when he heard sneakers on the pavement. He turned, and Sarah was running to him. He smiled, and opened his arms, which she jumped into willingly. He hugged her tightly, and lifted her off the ground. She pulled back, and looked down at him.

"You should have told me," she said, looking into his ambiguous eyes. He smiled, relieved that she'd come for him. He kissed her, and swung her legs back and forth. He wasn't planning on letting her go any time soon either.

* * *

Donna knocked on the door of the Burkhart house, feeling pretty sheepish and low.

"Jude, you know you can just come in!" she heard Jackie say as she opened the door. "How did things go with-. Oh. It's YOU."

"Hi," Donna said, waving slowly. "Look, can we talk-?"

"I don't think we have anything to say to each other," Jackie said, starting to close the door, but Donna caught it with her hand.

"Jackie, come on, let me in."

"… I will come out there. And you have two minutes," Jackie said. "So make it quick." She stepped onto the porch, and Donna stepped back a little bit. Two minutes. There was a lot to say in that time frame. She hoped she could say it all, and get her point across.

"Jackie, I'm sorry that I said those things," Donna said. "I jumped to conclusions, and I said some mean stuff. I just… You know, I don't know why I said those things. I don't know why we've been at each other's throats for what seems like forever now. I don't know why I went off on you, I don't know why we seem to only fight these days. I wish that we could just go back to how it used to be, in high school, when our relationship wasn't as complicated as it is now." A tear fell down her face, and Jackie looked at the boards of the porch.

"Are you done?" Jackie asked, softly.

"Yes."

"Then it's my turn," Jackie said. "You can apologize all you want, Donna. And you probably mean it. In fact, it's one of the rare times you've actually apologized to me for anything you've done. I used to take it. I used to let go of the fact that I rarely got an apology for things you'd said, or how you'd made me feel. But I've realized something: I've been clinging to you, and the basement, because I never thought that I would have other friends outside of you guys. I was stuck in high school because I thought that you were all the best friends I'd ever have, even if you weren't that great of friends to me. You always made me feel like a bad person, like an inferior person. And I took it because I thought 'well, at least she likes me'.

"But you aren't the only one who does, Donna. I've realized that I have other people that care about me. I have Brooke, even if she's in Chicago, I have her. And now I have Jude. Jude has been more of a friend to me these past few days than you have in the past year, Donna. The past YEAR."

"Jackie, I said-."

"I know that we'll be friends again, Donna," Jackie stated. "I'm very forgiving that way. But here's the thing: I don't need you. I don't need to take this crap from you because I have no one else. Because I do… I know that now…. Give me some time. I'll come around… But we'll never have what he used to. We haven't had that for a long time, have we?" Donna shook her head, and Jackie felt tears falling down her face too.

"You meant so much to me, Donna," Jackie said. "But we're too different now. We can't be what we used to be. If we stop trying, maybe the fighting will stop too." Donna shook her head, and crossed her arms.

"I can't believe that," Donna said. "We'll see in a few months, but I don't believe that…. Look, I'm gonna go. I'll see you around." Jackie nodded, and they sort of hugged. But they both knew that Jackie was right. They had taken two different paths. If they stopped trying to force the other to come with, perhaps things would be easier.

As Donna drove away, Jude drove up in Jackie's Camero, and Sarah was in the car with him. They got out of the car, and Jackie waved at them, smiling genuinely.

"Well look at you two!" she called as they walked up to her. "I take it that it all worked out in the end, huh?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Jude said, and Sarah nodded.

"Thank you for not staying married to this guy," Sarah said, and Jackie giggled. "More for me to enjoy, ya know?"

"I know," Jackie said. "So does that mean you'll be staying at her place tonight, Jude?"

"Only if you won't be lonely," he said.

"Oh, I will be, but that's okay," Jackie said. "Well you and Brooke just hit the jackpot romantically. She and Michael are back together, it seems."

"Oh wow, that's insane," Jude said.

"And… I just told Donna off," Jackie said.

"Oh man, I missed you kicking Donna's ass?" Sarah asked, disappointed, and Jackie giggled.

"I didn't kick her ass, I just… I told her that we'll never be as close as we used to be. Ever again…" Jackie said, trailing off a little bit. Jude rubbed her back.

"Ah kiddo. Are you okay?" he asked, and she nodded, and smiled at him.

"The fact you asked that made me see my decision was the right one," she said. Jude grinned, and ruffled her hair. "You two should go off and have some alone time."

"We already did," Sarah said.

"… In your car," Jude continued.

"Oh EW!" she exclaimed, swatting him on the shoulder repeatedly. "Dammit Jude, that's NOT cool! Just for that you have to take the bus back to Sarah's place!"

"Aww, seriously?" he asked. She stared at him, and then stamped her foot.

"Nooo," she muttered. "Get in. But you have to sit in the back seat, in your genetic filth."

"It was the driver's seat," Sarah said, guiltily.

"….. I fucking hate you both," she muttered, grabbing the keys from Jude's hands.

"I still think you're fantastic, Jackie," Jude said, grinning as he followed her.

"Shut up."

"It's a great car," Sarah chimed in. "The seats retract waaaaaay back-."

"Oh you think I don't know that?" Jackie asked. "As if Steven and I never did that back in the day. Please."

"Speaking of," Jude said as he and Sarah climbed in the back seat. "Are you going to go find him and claim what's yours?" Jackie reluctantly sat in the front seat, and adjusted the mirror so she could look at him.

"I don't know," she answered. "I think that I'm resolved to if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. You and Brooke have both shown me that."

"I like her attitude," Sarah said. "Very positive."

"Or maybe he'll just marry the next disease ridden skank that comes his way. For real this time," Jackie muttered, and revved the engine.

"… She's had a rough day," Jude said to Sarah, as Jackie screeched the car down the street.

About ten minutes after the Camero left the neighborhood, Hyde parked the El Camino in front of Jackie's house. He got out, trotted up the steps, and knocked on the door. When no one answered, he considered his options. He could turn around, get back in the car, and leave. He was good at that. He could leave, change his mind on what he was about to do, and not bring it up again. Or, he could sit down on the porch, and wait. Wait as long as he had to because in the end he knew that waiting would be completely worth it, if not a little scary.

So he sat his ass down, and decided that waiting was what he ultimately wanted.

A/N2: I need to make the big J/H scene romantic and sweeping, and it has some time to go before that. So bare with me a little longer. See you in a couple days!!


	14. The Crest of a High and Beautiful Wave

A/N: So here is the last chapter. I have an epilogue coming up after this. Sorry it took me some time, it was Halloween and I had a test today, but this is up and the epilogue should be up this weekend. I actually mean that this time, hee hee. Reviews are welcome but not required!

Disclaimer: I don't own 70S SHOW nor FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS.

* * *

After dropping off the new lovers, Jackie drove in the rain. The rain had come quickly. So quickly, she hadn't even realized it was raining until a flash of lightning made her jump in her seat.

"Oh God, did I close my window?" she asked herself, and swore when she remembered that she in fact had not. "Great."

Jude and Sarah were a very cute couple, but Jackie couldn't help but be a little jealous. Just as she was jealous of Brooke and Kelso. She was jealous of companionship.

But she was still going to go out to Vegas with Jude and Sarah to get his stuff. Even if she was a third wheel, they invited her and she was gonna go.

She drove up the street, the rain pounding against the windows of her car, and parked in the driveway. Through the pouring water on the windshield, she saw someone sitting on the porch. She got out of the car, and realized that it was Hyde.

"Steven, what are you doing?" she asked, surprised at how wet and determined he looked. "How long have you been sitting there? It's POURING out here!"

"That doesn't matter, I like the rain," he said. "I thought that sitting on the porch would be okay, but the wind had other ideas and sent the rain straight at me."

"Well come inside for God's sake," Jackie said, opening the door and leading him in. "You are going to get pneumonia, and then where will you be?"

"It doesn't matter."

"You aren't thinking straight, has it already set in?" she asked, closing the door and leading him to the laundry room where she could get him a towel.

"I'm thinking straight!" he growled. "Probably straighter than I've ever thought before-."

"Your ramblings aren't that convincing," she said, handing him a towel to dry himself off with. "For God's sake Steven, when it started raining couldn't you have thought that you should come back tomorrow?"

"If I don't do it now, I'm scared that I may never do it," he stated, and she dried off his hair roughly. "Hey, ow!"

"Oh you're fine," she muttered, smiling at his sensitivity. "So… how are you doing tonight?"

"I'm fine."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Where's Jude?"

"He's spending the night at a new friend's house," Jackie said, running a hand through his hair, trying to determine if it was dry enough or not. It wasn't, so she began rubbing him down some more. "The papers for annulment are in the works."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep. I will soon be the ex Mrs. Jude Duke."

"Technically the marriage never existed if you get it annulled."

"Oh. Well, whatever. You should consider telling your Dad about him, music wise. I bet he could pull some strings, get him a few gigs-."

"Are you done accosting me with this towel?" Hyde asked, pulling it off his head, and she giggled. "Because I want to say something. Clearly the past few days have been a little crazy-."

"Steven, the past few WEEKS have been a little crazy," she corrected, walking out of the laundry room towards the living room, him following. "The past few MONTHS have been-."

"And I know I'm partly to blame," he said, cutting her off.

"Wow, you admitting that… That's big of you… Are you're sure you're holding up okay? With Sam leaving and-?"

"As she left the basement with her things, she asked if I couldn't give her just one more chance to prove I felt something for her. I told her to beat it, and that the only way she made me feel was like an idiot."

"Yeah. You deserve to feel that way."

"Ouch."

"Well you do," she said, flippantly, as she lit a fire in the fireplace and patted the carpet for him to sit by her. "You threw away me, filet mignon, for her. McDonalds."

"I know," he said, sitting next to her.

"You chose skankiness over classiness."

"I know. I chose a mistake over… well, the best thing to ever happen to me." She turned, wary of his complacency.

"I was just being dramatic, Steven," she said, and he shrugged.

"It was true though," he said.

"Okay, what's going on?" she asked, furrowing her brow. "Since when are you all humble and willing to admit mistakes?"

"I can admit it when I make mistakes!" he said. "It may take me a little while-."

"Oh, a LITTLE while, huh?" she asked, trying to be playful to break the tension she was feeling. But he wasn't letting her off easy. He was there and he meant business.

"Jacks," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder, and she looked into the dancing flames of the fire place. Things were becoming a little too… nostalgic. "I know that I probably don't deserve your forgiveness. I've acted like a tool for awhile now, and it wasn't just the Sam thing-."

"I did too," she blurted out. If he was going to swallow his pride and man up to being wrong, she could return the favor. "I acted like a spoiled brat, I kept pushing you and pushing you-."

"And I asked the wrong girl to marry me."

"Yeah, cuz you don't even want to ever get married," she said. "If you don't even want to marry the 'best thing that happened to you'-."

"Yeah I do," he stated. She looked at him, the fire sending a flickering glow to her already flushing cheeks. He took off his sunglasses, which meant that this was going to be HUGE and heartfelt. It was probably going to be the question she'd wished of him for two years, the question she'd wished of him probably when they first met. It was happening. She could feel it. "Jackie, will you-?"

She shot up, and rushed out of the living room and out the front door, into the rainstorm. He sat for a beat, confused, but then darted after her, back out into the rain.

She didn't know why she had run. Perhaps she was scared of what his question meant. Did he want to marry her for her, or because he'd been abandoned yet again and she was the safe choice? Or maybe she was afraid of being hurt again, as whenever she opened her heart to him, to all men, she ended up damaged.

Or maybe it was because it was just that morning, though it seemed years ago, that she'd seen an engagement ring of his on another woman's finger.

"Jackie!" he called, racing to catch up with her. She walked, hugging herself as the chilled water splattered upon her body, as if she didn't hear him. He caught up, and grabbed her arm. "Where are you going?" She turned to face him, and he couldn't tell if she was crying or if it was just the rain flowing down her cheeks.

"Steven, you can't ask me that."

"Why not?"

"Because your supposed marriage ended today, you aren't thinking straight."

"Yes I am-."

"No, you aren't! You're feeling rejected and vulnerable! On the day you gave her a ring, your 'wife' was exposed as a liar and you kicked her out of your life!" she exclaimed. "Can't you see how I may find this… this… WHATEVER it is a little suspect?"

"Why would you think that she meant anything to me after what I said last night? After what we DID last night?" he asked.

"Because you gave her a ring, Steven!" Jackie cried. "After you said those things to me, after you said you still loved ME, you gave HER a ring, a symbol of love and commitment and the merging of two souls into one!_I_ wanted a ring, Steven! But you gave it to her-!"

"Jacks, I never gave her that ring," he said, taking her hands frantically. "It wasn't her ring, she found it and used it to manipulate you! She saw that I still love you and was trying to drive you away."

Jackie's mouth dropped, and she closed it quickly.

"But she said-."

"Has she given you any reason to believe her?" he asked. "Any at all?"

"No, but…. Oh my God. She totally tricked me," Jackie said.

"Hey, join the club," Hyde stated. "I'm sure the membership number is through the roof."

"I was manipulated by HER?" she asked, completely surprised. "That feather brain??? But… but… I'M usually the manipulative one!"

"You're losing your touch," he said, and she laughed a little bit, in relief and joy. "That ring was supposed to be for you." She pulled a hand away to wipe her eyes of the tears that were mixing with the rain drops.

"Really?" she asked, her voice wrought with emotion, and he nodded, smiling slyly.

"Yep," he said. "Jackie, it's always been and always will be you. And even though I don't deserve you, I need you. I love you, and I HOPE that you still love me, despite my bullshit."

"… Well you certainly deserve more than a Vegas stripper!" she exclaimed, and he laughed, as did she. "Goddamn it, Steven!... Of course I still love you! These emotions don't just disappear, you know!"

"Trust me, I know," he said, and then got down on one knee, trying again. "Jacks… Marry me." She smiled broadly, as this was how it was SUPPOSED to happen. Not in Vegas. Not during a blackout. This was the way she'd always dreamed of, and it was with the man she loved and would always love.

"Of course I will," she said, tugging on his arm to make him stand up. They hugged, and she was about to kiss him, when he held up a finger.

"One thing."

"What is it?"

"Now don't be pissed."

"Steven, I couldn't possibly be pissed, this moment is too-."

"I don't have a ring for you."

"WHAT?!"

"BECAUSE you deserve a new one," he continued. "I'm going out to get you one tomorrow, but I had to ask you tonight."

"Oh… Oh my God, I must have sounded like a complete superficial bitch-."

"That's my superficial baby for ya."

"I don't need a ring-."

"Don't lie."

"You're right, I do need a ring," she said. "But I have one stipulation."

"Shoot."

"No strippers at the bachelor party."

"Well… no lounge singers at the bridal shower!"

"… Deal." And finally, they kissed, the rain falling on them, but not mattering to them one bit. The rain wasn't something that would hinder them, just as the past wasn't going to keep them apart.

Even though Jackie was moving forward, it didn't mean she had to let go of everything.


	15. Farewell to Vegas

A/N: IT'S STILL THE WEEKEND!! So I didn't lie this time about when I was going to post this little epilogue. I think it's cute, and wraps things up in a neat little package. I hope that you all agree!! I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to review this story, and also everyone who has read it and enjoyed it. ::hugs::

Disclaimer: I don't own 70S SHOW nor FEAR AND LOATHING. But I own Jude. And that's fantastic.

* * *

It wasn't what you could call a traditional wedding. But Jackie Burkhart soon to be Hyde was never one to be traditional. For one, it wasn't in June, it was in October. She thought that October would be a better month than June, since the summer of the previous year had a lot of tumultuous memories. Secondly, her father didn't walk her down the aisle. Jack was still in prison, and didn't get out in time to see his only daughter marry the man of her dreams. Instead, Red Forman had the honor of walking down one of his many 'basement babies', as his wife called the brood in the basement.

But the most glaring deviance of tradition was the Maid of Honor, who wasn't a 'maid' at all. It was not only a man, it was a man that Jackie had been married to for two whole weeks. And his fiancée was another of the bridesmaids. There was even an agreement that Jackie was going to be the best man at his upcoming February nuptials. Along with Jude and Sarah were Brooke and Donna, Jackie's old friends converging with the new ones. Hyde's groomsmen were the usual suspects, Eric, Kelso, Fez, and then Leo.

As Jackie walked down the aisle, she looked at her soon to be husband. He was smiling at her, his eyes only on her, and she was smiling right back. There was no Elvis impersonator, no gift of complimentary chips, and she was going to remember EVERYTHING in the morning. In fact, the only parallel there was to her previous wedding (that now, legally, never officially happened), was the fact that Jude was there. And even he wasn't in the same position. This time he was just her best friend.

"Are you ready for this, Jacks?" Hyde whispered, and she nodded.

"Are you?" she whispered back.

"Oh yeah."

As the ceremony went on, Jackie's bridesmaids all had their own thoughts in their heads. Donna was happy that they had found their way back to each other, and while they would never had what they once did, what they did have was enough. And besides, there as a certain groomsman who had come back from Africa across the aisle, smiling at her boldly.

Brooke looked at her boyfriend, who was also across the aisle, and he waved at her not so subtly. They were going to go home to Chicago that night after the reception, their daughter the flower girl in tow, and settle back into comfortable life that would, perhaps someday, lead to their own journey of this kind. For now, they were taking it slow. And it was working out perfectly.

And the Man of Honor smiled at his bridesmaid, whose Bambi eyes were jumping from the ceremony to him. She was damned sure that she was going to catch that bouquet, not that it mattered, as she already had a ring on her finger. Jude winked at her, and then looked at the couple as they were exchanging the rings. On Monday he'd go back to work at the record store, and revel in the fact that he'd be able to run it by himself for a week while his partner was on his Honeymoon in Oahu. And then at night, he and his band would go to Green Bay for a gig, which were becoming more and more of a routine than he'd ever expected.

As the bride and groom kissed, marrying the people they should have been marrying all along, the guests burst into applause, as if to say 'finally it's happened!' But that didn't matter. All that mattered to them was that they were finally happy. Both of them. Their path, though it had taken many twists and turns, and sometimes split, was finally converging, and would stay converged until they left this Earth.

They were never going to let the path split again.

THE END


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